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frikifrida.blogspot.com
Settled Purpose.

Jot down interesting, memorable events in life
Think things out through words
To avoid the mental burden.




Well Wishers

abdillah adillah aidil m. daud ain archi aisyahbi aizat amalina amira asmida cikgu marlina fatimah filzah haddad helfizah idayu ivan izzati junaidah jyssica loy-xing-wen maisarah mei-juan* muhammad nur nadiah s. nadiah z. namira nazif nisa nizal raihanah reyza safiah sarah shakinah suhaila suzana yasmin vanan adawiyah adelina ahny^adi ain angel benjamin bernard darren faizal hanisa hanis syafinaz hilmi hisham hong-sheng joseph kai lin khidir khadijah madarians mariyanah nasri noraisha nosheena ridwan rohanisya salihah saranpal sufyan ting-ting wen-jun xin-yi yanni

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Tuesday, July 28, 2015
1000th post. so angsty for what.

It's my one thousandth post, and i am still like this.


I guess I'm feeling the lows lately..
I'm so proud of my fiance for having a great go at his passion. He's someone I absolutely look up to. I remember telling him to go for it, bring the friends together and have it started. Now, look where he is. He's having rehersals and shows at Esplanade, included in gatherings with the big stars. He's somewhere.


Me? i feel like i'm stuck in a rut. I want to go to uni, i want to go up this stagnant ladder, i want to do something fun together with my friends. But i'm going no where. I want to be recognised, but I hate compliments. I can't take any in, I can't give any out. I can't say a proper thank you, and that your dress is beautiful too. I'm not excitingly happy, and my artworks? meh..

I envy friends who remember what other friends want. seriously, I envy that. I have told people what I want, but how come...they don't remember... I remember theirs...

And when it happens, i decided to stop remembering. Its not worth it..


I want to be recognised & remembered... but really, i'm not memorable at all. new people come & click so well with my friends that I'm easily forgotten.


I'm usually at the toe-dipping situation. Whereby, I encourage my friends to go swimming, and we are at the pool all excited, but once I dip my toe, someone suggests something else, and they all go running away. Semangat 5 minit they say..

I guess i have zilch to do so I remember everyone's cravings & wants & needs, and I give them what they want, and I forget to do sthg for myself, and I realise, they aren't doing it for me either.

But I hate compliments.

While he's busy with his passion, i just continue with my mundane days.. because he, too, had put me in that toe-dipping situation too... asked me to be his 'admin/secretary/whatnot', came once, and never at all. eagerly asking, but never updated. never included me in his general group convo, so i don't exactly know what's going on. and then I gave up & let go.

I really don't feel like i'm needed anywhere, really. Only at home.

So depressing!

But at least I'm needed at home.