another piece of me written down....
hye...today's kinda irritating...fack up lah jia hao...as wat taren says "act big but not big" hahx...aniwae....nasri kinda pissed me off....mr lee knew i was a chairperson of mcc and PRACTICALLY INFORMED IT TO THE WHOLE CLASS!!! shitty...mt...did the newspaper cutting...erm....what else....tuition was good except my mom woke me up late so during tuition i was still sleepy...shitty....did this template....figure the msg out....erm...yeay! saturday i'm going back to johore! balek kampong lah....now there's a conflict btwn hanisah's grp n rai's grp..hur hur...i'm outta dis one...say watever lah...this one got clique lah..dat one got clique lah...kinda stops them from having a new inner fren u know....thats wat i think...erm...i wanna travel! i wanna get updated with the world of technologies! i wanna go explore....thats wat i wanna do...
another piece of me written down....
hyelo....wanted to blog yesterday...but..hermmm.......today n yesterday was a disaster for me n jun! we were practically striving for a drop of air..no lah..i'm just exaggerating...coz both of us were having blocked nose u see...i passed the virus to her...n so on...hmm...who are the ppl who got the virus? who knows....anyway, today mr toh came to our class...it was kinda fun actually since mr toh is the happy happy joy joy kind...then, mt we had a test..mr toh came in again! sheesh......did the ppr then went back to class for remedial...hahax....hmmmm.....at class, i was kinda erm...not still? whats the word....i dont know...anyway, i kept moving around...i even kicked josie! hahax....women CAN be violent oukay....unless some ppl...i chged to my mcc tshirt den that azleen sorta made fun...i mean, what is damn wrong with wearing it? its not like the word MCC is written big in front right? shit lor her...dalah tanak dtg, nak ejek org pulak! pi blah ah! aniwae, the remedial was ok...we hurried through the pprs...then, me n weder went for lunch...story her n such....heehee...we finished food when mdm marlina finished her food..cooooll...for mcc, we did stretching n stuffs...taught the sec 1s the basic steps...seee! with us they did not get scolded...how nice....heheheh....shit lah...stupid chairperson ting...RARRRR....one of the sec 1 girl 'lost' her uniform...maybe someone else took it by mistake....woops! worst comes to worst u'll end up washing the uni, n wearing it again what...its not like u cant wash it or what right....i tink i lost my socks too...but hey! i'm gonna wash it...its a uniform! everything's d same.....
another piece of me written down....
I hate myself for losing you. -Kelly clarkson
I woke up today
Woke up wide awake
In an empty bed
Staring at an empty room
I have myself to blame
For the state I'm in today
And now dying
Doesn't seem so cruel
And oh, I don't know what to say
And I don't know anyway
Anymore
I hate myself for losing you
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?
You got what you deserved
Hope you're happy now
'Cause everytime I think of her with you
It's killing me
Inside, and
Now I dread each day
Knowing that I can't be saved
From the loneliness
Of living without you
And, oh
I don't know what to do
Not sure that I'll pull through
I wish you knew
I hate myself for losing you
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?
I hate myself for losing you
And oh, I don't know what to do
I wish you knew
And oh, I don't know what to say
And I don't know anyway
Anymore
No, no
I hate myself for losing you
(I'm seeing it all so clear)
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?
What do you say when everything's said?
Is the reason why he left you in the end?
How do you cry when every tear you shed
Won't ever bring him back again?
I hate myself for loving you
another piece of me written down....
hyelo....i'm sick.....since d day he said dat, i've been sick..i'm nt alright...d day after he asked for it, i was brought to the hospital...stopid gastric...haiz...had to stay in d hospital for a few hours...gd thing not a few days....sheeesh...then, ysterday, i got sick...stopid sorethroat...got it at night..maybe at the exact time he asked for it...i cudnt sleep! sharpness of the throat was killing mee...haiz...today, i've fallen sick...getting to the asthmatic condition...shit...as more ppl ask me, more ppl get to know abt it...and more ppl would say he sucks n all...i didnt ask for their comments but that was what that came out of their very mouths...as i get to know CJ better, i get better...haiz....sth too good to be true....aint that right? nvrmind then...i guess he doesnt care anymore....so might as well end it....but i worry abt him...somehow...d way he works...its just too scary....i mean, after so long working, he still hvnt got his pay yet...and the work time is like, too extensive? hermmm...busy even for me...now, its all over...
for the last few days of sch, i'm always with jun n sorida....shared many things with them and all i can say is that jun is scary! hahx....jia hao suck up lah! go to hell suckerrr...whoever says "u sucks"??
ggooooddd english sia...
nowonder u failed...S.H.E lahhhh...S.H.E....anyway, jun scolded him in malay with full of angst..hahax....anyway, yesterday we had the cca fair...mdc n dnd was competing like it was gonna be the end of the world...ppl told me i was the chairperson but i kept denying UNTILL hong sheng showed me...holly shit! i told mdm marlina i was not fit to be one, but she said that i have a chance to show it...oh man....i aint responsible, i aint good. now, it is time to face it...hong sheng n me are gonna be the rivals of the ccas....hahax..cca chairperson rivals...ah shitt....mdm salena bought us pizza! yeay! sumhow, i'm a busybody....now i have to show my leadership skills....hahax...more points i have to admit...woo hoooo....n hawa...she dropped out....=(...y must she go? y must she leave? i need herr....marlina(sec 5) said that she got hypertension....so she go to a night school instead...haiz...hawaaaaaa....sumting happened to rai, junnie n mj...errr....made us girls so insecure......went home with nad n dayu, told them abt him n me....they asked for it...so i have to answer...ppl will know abt it soon right? so yah....anyway....time to move on...gotta study physics....test tmr...shit!
another piece of me written down....
hyelo peeps....if ur reading? hahax...i'm bored, i'm bored n i'm bored! what d hell? i'm always bored....anyway, my comp has broken down...shit!..so yah..my bro is looking for a new comp...? YEAY!!! cant wait...miss using the comp....hehex....anyway? how's life? my life? erm...there's times when i'm pissed...times when i'm nervous, times when i'm sad n times when i can just laugh my arses out! hahax...has been a few days since it has happened..n somehow i hate it...i hope i can just breeze thru....today i had my amaths test...n i 'm sure i can pass...if i fail..u know who u are...d person hu didnt give my tys back...nah, i'm not blaming ya...u need to use d tys more den i do,
dont you? so use it...give it to me when u're free...or when u really want to. i hate being given empty hopes each time i ask for it...its just a waste of breathe...or should i say msges...haiz...i'm sure he loves doing what he is doing now...haiz....anyway, CJ is a sick guy! hahax...not as in sick pervertic guy but sick siao guy...hahax....haiyooo.....how abnormal can he be? thx for putting up with my pissiness and my idioticness...haizz....idiotic freak! but yeah...can share many things with him unlike other guys....is dat a trick qn? ppl say he is a lesbian...hahax...no lah..just made fun of him using dat..mayb dats y he's much nicer? hahax.......anyway...gotta have a happy life from now onwards..dun want to fail for the Os...or else...its gonna be hell for me...i wan a new hp!!! samsung e330c! nice one....gotta have it soooonnnnn or else...my eldest bro lost his samsung hp in d taxi....sayang seeeeyyy...i wan!! haiyooooo....i'm aching all over....shitty mdc....o yes now mcc has chged to mdc...malay dance club...sounds MUCH better den mcc....sheeesh..it always end up like this
"eh, what cca r u in?"
"mcc"
"huh? what? ncc?"
"nolah! M c c"
"ooooo.."
sheeesh!
another piece of me written down....
to you,
thx...for all that u have done...thanx for d gifts, ur love and everything...thx for being patient..i wont hold u on any longer, its ur decision, its your choice...u have the right..what do i have? i'm not patient, ur right. i'm never sweet, like u thought..i just a boring little girl. anyway, do take care...now, u have the freedon to choose a new, more interesting girl...go ahead...but i hope, we'll stay on as friends...hopefully. i hope ur results will turn out good. i hope u have fun at ur workplace. its been forever since we talked on the phone..go out..and even sms each other..but who's to blame? i've never given u anything before...not a single thing indeed...u've ended it all...no tears have dropped last night...but i guess it will again...it'll be hard to forget a person like u...thx so much...i'll miss u....take care...
from me.
now, i'm gonna go get my specs, gonna go study...where? it all depends...haiz, 5 more days till amaths test, 6 more days till physics test, 4/6 more days till chem test! am i up for it? it all depends...haiz..
another piece of me written down....
i feel so damn fucked up right now...tears are just flowing...but i'm trying to stop it...cant let my family members see i'm tearing in front of d comp....gosh...i feel like having a break...ergh! crying is d only way to make me release some stress..i need help here...real help...not someone who says "i care for u" n does nothing after that...i want someone who wont say it, but actually mean it...this is what i want to say..here goes..."I HATE U. U'RE MAKING ME CRY. U'RE MAKING ME INTO DEEP BOILING SOUP! U'RE MAKING ME HURT! U'RE MAKING ME FALL INTO ALOT OF TROUBLE! U'RE MAKING ME NOT HAPPY! U'RE MAKING ME HAVE DOUBTS! U'RE MAKING ME NOT FOCUSED! U'RE NOT THE GUY I USE TO KNOW! U'RE JUST TOO BUSY! NOWONDER U HV NOT SAID ALL THOSE WORDS ANYMORE! I KNOW U NEVER MEAN IT! NEVER AT ALL... I KNEW IT! ITS ALL BULLSHIT! DAMN SUCKED UP BULLSHIT! U'RE NOT HELPING! NOT AT ALL! NOT EVEN A SINGLE CARE IN UR SOUL! FACKED UP! ERGH! UR NOT MAKING ME HAPPY! SHIT U!"....help me...tears are just falling...i'm so frustrated...everytime i ask u abt the book, u wudnt reply! what d fack! have u lost the damn book? have u?! hopefully not...i've never thought abt that till my fren said it...hopefully u hv not done anything to the book...wanted to give sth meaningful to u, but i guess its not worth it...i know it never was...i've nvr asked for the gifts u gave...but its rude to refuse isnt it? is it?