at last i get to chat with SYIMAH!!! longlost friend lah dey...hahaha
my eyes hurt mann....gotta get new contact lenses...
oyah! i've gotten myself NEW earpieces!! yeayyyy....hahahahahahha.....longer and in white...so NOWW, i dont have to hold my mp3 anymore...yeayyy...thx shak for accompanying me..kekeke...
erm, what else.......o yes, i have to choreograph a dance for a scene...shit.....contemporary....shit....
what else....o ya, you know how i fucking hate that fucking bloody bitchy monstrous i-cant-believe-i've-got-a-connection-to-her SLUT right?! and yesterday she bloody fuckingly interrupt my conversation with my DAD and she bloody fuckingly called me BIADAP like what the bloody fucking hell!!!! and who the hell was talking to HER IN THE FIRST PLACE?! aku da muak nak layan binatang macam die ah eh....da muak dgn perangai GILA kebabian die...da MUAK dgn muke tak pernah TAU MALU die....ade hati nak manje2 dgn MAK aku pulak tu...like what the FUCK LAH! called me MINAH and all like what the FUCK! go to hell lah...THAT FUCKING IMMATURED ATTITUDE of hers is no where found near my friends and that BITCH thinks she's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO big, she treats me like a SLAVE! eh, fuck up lah!
and NOW, due to HER, my mom is now being hostile towards ME! eh, all this while eh, i've been shutting my gap and ignoring her and when i open it once, SHE FUCKING HELL RUINS MY DAY! once she's there, i just cannot talk. pegi mampos lah bahlol samdol badigol tolol!
urgh. and i was SEARCHING all over for my earpiece and suddenly i rmbred VICTOR had it...shit ...the more i had to hear her fcking voice, the more it made me SICK!
lemme just warn you;
ONCE I HATE YOU, THERE WON'T BE ANOTHER DAY I'LL TALK TO YOU! THERE WON'T BE ANOTHER DAY I'D LIKE TO SEE YOUR FACE! THERE WON'T BE ANOTHER DAY I'D EVEN WANT TO HEAR YOU TALK! BECAUSE, ONCE I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!
Monday, October 30, 2006
another piece of me written down....
atlast! the posts are out!! hahahahah. buggy bloggy.
ok lah, stop the blog.
sometimes, those sweet things people do are the hurtfullest things. its like sweets. too much of it will make you have toothache. you'll end up hating it after that.
haizz..
Sunday, October 29, 2006
another piece of me written down....
blogger hates me. i have to change to something else. erghhh...
so anyway, went raya-ing at my cousins'...and i have accomplished one thing in three years, to talk to my cousin, Syafinaz, who is the most shy-ess girl i have ever seen.not only that, i managed to console her too...she was crying so hard and i just cool-ed her down...with hot tea...ironic eyh....haha..she laughs like a recorded tape, talks malay like an englishmen, talk english like she's born from Britain. haha. so now i know. and and and, i got to play with Muhaymin! hahaha...he is sooo cute..now that he's bald, his facial expressions are much more distinguishing...much more obvious. my cousin said he pulled a patch of his hair..a PATCH okay. and and and, i kinda got along well with my aunties and their kids(my cousins). haha. i sound like a real anti-social person. yeay.
okay. now, i need to do some research on concrete. haaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Saturday, October 28, 2006
another piece of me written down....
blogger doesnt want me to blog all my negativities down. shit you.
another piece of me written down....
whats this feeling i'm having?
i'm tired, i feel sick almost everyday, i cannot be bothered by the slightest things that actually concerns me.
Like,
my assignments. my projects. my involvement in Muzikarama. my friends. my family. my handphone.
maybe i should just throw away my handphone and not know anything at all about the things happening around me then to actually know i have someting to do but dont do it. my handphone 'alerts' me when i've got projects to do. how? by receiving those sms-es the leaders send. oh, and handphone tells me when i need to go home, when i need to do my assignments, when i need to go out. its like my manager or something. i HAvE fallen as a slave to TECHNOLOGY! you know how you actually wait for the MRT instead of the MRT waiting for you? and how you have to fix your computer almost every a few months which can cost to about hundreds? why am i babbling about this?
haiz
what happened to the i-speak-of-crap-but-they-are-quite-interesting me? hurh.
you know, the other day, i wrote down the things that i don't like and wow, if i didnt stop myself and go to sleep, i'll have a list of them so very long, that it bores people to death.
i'm sooo good in english, my mom hates it.
i'm so random nowadays!
o ya, yesterday, my lecturer asked why do people keep blogs. he said "tell the world about your life for what?". i still dont really know why i keep this blog. like really, FOR WHAT? not like they actually rreeaaddd my blogs religiously or what and mostly they visit this blog just for pictures.
i want to call a friend, whoever ah...but nah, they probably be asleep or not home or bathing at the time i call. so scrap that.
mopping is not fun.
ooohhh..i cannot wait to get my license mannn...my parents are already bugging me to learn the highway road signs thingies..ahahahah....such supportive parents...harhar....
one thing that i dont like is when people say they're going to call back but dont. you give alittle hope for that person but he/she just gets disappointed.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
another piece of me written down....
i feel like there's a big rock in my throat. it's been there for the past few days and i have no appetite to eat at all. is it fever or is it just sorethroat? but my voice is still good. i just have difficulty swallowing. urgh.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
another piece of me written down....
i dont know whats wrong with people nowadays, so let my other self do the talking.
i know her inside out. sometimes, i can tell she feel anything but happy even though she's got that smile on her..sometimes, when i look at her, she just gives me the smug face and just throws me aside. sometimes, when i look at her, i can tell she's disappointed..with everything that's happening to her..sometimes, when she tried to use me, she just gets disappointed. i guess the other party doesn't know how she actually needs them..but she just goes over it and smile at whatever that had happened. i'm her way of getting over the boredom, i'm her source of frustration. i can make her happy but sometimes, i just make her super sad, she cries in front of me. i rescue her from all sorts of danger. there was once, her *beep* sister tried to kill her in her room and i was there to get help from her brother. i pity this girl of mine. sometimes, she says she can live without me. but usually thats a lie. i'm always there for her but sometimes, i just cant help her. i'm always with her with another two friends of mine. she saved me and my other two friends the other time when her *beep* sister tried to kill her the 2nd time. i'm grateful to have her. =)
if you know me that well, you should know who's talking up there.
i've been to Vivo City and i tell you its big. quote from Jeff, "die nye besar, skit nye kurang ajar eh"..aka, its bloody irritating big.
alarrr.....aku da kene addicted dengan the indon movies!!! HEART is very nice!!!!! sad, but nice...i shall beg for the guys to watch it...sad sad....ahahahahahaha! chiak!
to those muslims out there who actually did fast during the month of Ramadhan,
Selamat menyambut bulan Syawal yang akan tiba.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
another piece of me written down....
sucksucksucksuck!!
blogger is being such an ass and my internet connection plus slowness of computer is not helping either!!! everytime i try to blog, either my connection breaks or my internet browser go hang and by that time, i've lost all my will to blog. ARGH! damn you.
friends are coming to school today so, erm, what shld i let them do?
i'm loving indon sinotrens mannn....heck if i dont understand them..but they really look very good...esp the guys...*wink*...i'm loving their songs too mannn....very halus meaning....nowonder mom always asked me to read indon books....maybe its in the traits...my mom love indon books, i love their shows n songs. too bad mom don't like peterpan though...coz she say their songs are like about dying and stuff....she's right. haha...
please please please let this day be a good one cause it started damn bad....i vomitted today. my stomach hurts and i feel nauseous....damn damn damn.
imagining shak, vict, aaron, benson n me going in a car with the lecturer is outrageous. made the car so heavy.
yes sahhh, a few more days to rayer..
setoopeed and secotet. what are they? haha.
Monday, October 16, 2006
damn. all of whatever i wrote went blank with a tap of a button. shit shit shit. argh. ARGH!
Sunday, October 15, 2006
another piece of me written down....
Manusia Bodoh - Ada Band Dahulu terasa indah Tak ingin lupakan Bermesraan s'lalu jadi satu Kenangan manis
Tiada yang salah Hanya aku manusia bodoh Yang biarkan semua ini permainkanku Berulang ulang kali
Mencoba bertahan sekuat hati Layaknya karang yang Dihempas sang ombak Jalani hidup dalam buai belaka Serahkan cinta tulus di dalam takdir
Tak ayal tingkah lakumu Buatku putus asa Kadang akal sehat ini Belum cukup membendungnya
Hanya kepedihan Yang s'lalu datang menertawakanku Engkau belahan jiwa Tega menari indah di atas tangisanku
Mencoba bertahan sekuat hati Layaknya karang yang Dihempas sang ombak Jalani hidup dalam buai belaka Serahkan cinta tulus di dalam takdir
Tapi sampai kapankah ku harus Menanggungnya kutukan cinta ini
Semua kisah pasti ada akhir Yang harus dilalui Begitu juga akhir kisah ini yakinku indah
Mencoba bertahan sekuat hati Layaknya karang yang Dihempas sang ombak Jalani hidup dalam buai belaka Serahkan cinta tulus di dalam takdir
Tapi sampai kapankah ku harus Menanggungnya kutukan cinta ini Bersemayam dalam kalbu
Saturday, October 14, 2006
another piece of me written down....
went out to get the shock of my life! i guess that's my birthday present from my parents. and i love it!!! hahahahahahaha..now, i'm speechless.
its a Guess handbag.
went to my granny's beside my dad..break fast there and erm, it was kinda fun. help Cik Busu fix her internet modem but its not connected yet. and watched the concert held at Tekka from my granny's room. they were dancing on the road...its so colourful..deepavali is coming and their lights are so WOW..the peacocks are very big...and like, colourful..haha...geylang's lights arent as wonderful as theirs...
so anyway,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SALMAN, AZLEEN AND EDWINA. i hope you people had a wonderful birthday even if its at home and may all your wishes come true. God bless!
Friday, October 13, 2006
I could see her - a miniature version of myself sitting inside my head, in a miniature version of Central Park. She was sitting on a bench, completely alone, holding a candle, waiting patiently for all of the dreams about a future with Jack to come true. As I shut down my computer and left the gallery that night, the miniature person finally stood up from that bench and blew out her candle.
-If Andy Warhol Had a Girlfriend; Alison Pace
another piece of me written down....
today i was all alone!!!!
went to school alone....like duh. good thing it was practical lah so i could like do my own thing and just busybody in anyone's business(aka kaypoh lah)....i helped ivan do the patching up, just helped myself to some cement and clothand the pail of water...then, while i was screwing the wood stuff, i felt kinda weird...coz the screwing is damn hard and it takes almost so long to screw the damn screw into the hole...screw it! literally. then, mahir help help ah...i asked fu lin to do the screwing since i was too SHORT to do it...tip-toeing isnt enough for me sia...mahir did the honour of going to the other workshop to ask for a hand drill....after that, went to FC4 to accompany fu lin and victor eat...just tagging along with them is quite fun ah...they are all into np/ncc stuffs....and i cannot believe my ears when victor asked whether that girl at the end table was okay or not....i mean, is he checking the girls out?! omg! haha....fu lin has this disliking for stairs...even if there's only three steps...he'll go all the way to the other end of the building just to avoid the stairs....haha....and i thought they were kinda mature, but no...victor splashed some water onto me n mahir and they were being childish...oh-so-angelic-looking victor isnt an angel afterall...he was tempting mahir to break fast sia....omg....haha....then i chatted with nisy and aizad for awhile as they waited for aisyah and friends...hmm....then, went for prayers and went for OE....OE was kinda productive lah....talked about youtube and stuff....discussed about our upcoming presentation....maybe we will be doing something about customizing our apparels...but isnt that like, common? the question that has to be answered now is "why should people come to us when there are other places to do it?" hmm....after that i visited the library and i went home straight....slept till 630....imagine how tired i was...and imagine, at that time, only then, did people started replying my messages which i sent hours ago...like, wth? CHECK YOUR PHONES PEOPLE! CHECK YOUR PHONES! kinda depressing ah...coz i msged nad twice during this week asking her whether she was free or not for the day and she replied hours later which really defeats the purpose since by the time she replied, the day was going to end...maybe the msg was received late? i dont know..haiz.
so anyway, was watching RCTI and suddenly i came across this show that was EXACTLY like the show Smiling pasta my cousin asked me to watch...direct translation from chinese to indon...i think the indon one is nicer...but i dont know when the show is....and what time i watched it...lemme see...at 8? its called "Sumpah Gue Sayang Loe!" go watch it!
so lastly,
HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY MUHAMMAD NUR!! eventhough i've just known you, esp thru shak, you've been a great help to me. thanks ya! =)) hope your wishes come true and hope the days ahead are way better than the last. =))))
the song for the show 'Sumpah Gue Sayang Loe'
Hapus Aku - Nidji Kutuliskan kesedihan Semua tak bisa kau ungkapkan Dan kita kan bicara dengan hatiku
Buang semua puisi Antara kita berdua Kau bunuh dia sesuatu Yang kusebut itu cinta
Reff: Yakinkan aku Tuhan Dia bukan milikku Biarkan waktu waktu Hapus aku
Sadarkan aku Tuhan Dia bukan milikku Biarkan waktu waktu Hapus aku
Thursday, October 12, 2006
another piece of me written down....
Happy Seventeenth Birthday Faridah!
you can now easily and proudly tell people that you are seventeen, nomore "i'm still sixteen". after all that you've endure for the past year, you've still alot more to learn. for every mistakes you've done, you've learnt a lesson. thanks to those people around you, you're able to wake up each morning with an ease mind. thank god for these people, for everyone who walks out on you, there'll just be someone there who walks in and put that smile back on your face, there'll just be someone there to put you back on your feet and there'll just be someone out there to remind you of Him. congratulations Faridah! alhamdulillah.
your dearest, Inner soul.
so anyway,
started my day as pernormal lah... today i went to school with SHAK! heheheheheheheheh....sha was the first to wish me a birthday wish on my birthday! =))) sayang kamu!! she gave me a present...no, two presents...baik eh ni orang...the wrapping paper is purple...hehehehheh...she gave me a notebook also...hehehehe....then on the way to school on the train, we were drawing and scribbling on the pda i brought...hahah...then, in DESIGN class, we drew. 1st we drew a house, then we drew some design...scribble here n scribble there...mine look like shit of course...i'm never good with art....so later, went to the library and watched Goong with ivan and shak..nisya n aisyah joined a while later...they didnt watch ah...den me n shak were so bloody irritated with these group of boys, we went off to pray...the toilet packed sak! then, we go buy tissue paper coz shak's nose was running...no ah...more of sprinting...went to OC and i tell you, the lesson is more than boring....omg...like wth....had to get in groups and think of a topic to do...ADEL AND KAI!! WHERE ARE YOU?!!...so sad, i didnt get to really talk to them today...so since shak was feeling worst than sick, we parted..i just reached the prayer's corner when hilmi called...said he wanted to meet me...so i met him after prayers.....haha! he got me a little gift which STINKS my bag!!! he got me pizza!! hahahhahahaha....nice kannn....but ya lah...my bag smeellllsss....pe seh....in the train, si hilmi nye kawan2 yang oh-so tinggi2 belaka walked form the last cabin to the 2nd last cabin just to meet syikin....like what the hell! haha...talked all the way to hilmi ah...somehow, that shafiq makes me feel quitee erm...outdated...kesian sehh...anyway, waited for dear peeggeyy for like 30 mins at cityhall...good thing only 30 mins...haha...walked at marina square, ate at BURGER KING! yeayyy......erm....explored the shopping mall....now, she's obsessed with it...thank hilmi for calling to tell me it was time for break fast....=)) and you know what, the people there are so blur, mj bought a chicken whopper but got a whopper instead....haha!! then mj diedie thought it was 10, she wanted to go already...but truth is, it was only 9....haha! walked at raffles city...and ya, after that we went home...mj bought a hairband...whooppee....
i've got another date with the girls on wednesday! yippieee.....
i've seen some bags i like...should i get it? hmmm...
i guess i have to change my oh so very precious tagboard siaaa....alaahhh.....can you see my tag board??? can you? can you??
i'll just add another tag board...if the old one doesnt work, then out with the old, in with the new....i hate changing stuff....alamakkkk....=((
erm, today, three people have already wished me the greeting....=)))
thank you people! thank you very much! =))
i've got a date tomorrow!!! =)))
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
another piece of me written down....
hyelo!
went to school today and i tell you it was so boring! the practical was okay lah...it was fast and efficient. but the tutorial sucked!! accompanied shak go buy some fried chempedaks...now i miss them...hahahah...and i forgot to bring my wallet...goodyyy....
was early enough to go home, get my wallet, prayed and get out...met wj, mj, hanna, rhanah n raider....went to changi village for dinner and had a helluva time there...those girls are just too crazy for me mannn....rai dared mj n wj to eat this soupy dish she n me whipped up and they got 10 bucks each...rai n raider got 5 bucks each for eating a hotter soupy dish while hanna got 2 bucks for just drinking the soup...i didnt do anything since...haha...nemind...camwhored of course and in d bus we were just crazy lah...some mats sat behind us and were pretty irritating...
i love this song!!! reminds me of my childhood and the tune is so catchy!! it has been a long time since i've heard it and its just soo...funny! there isn't any song like this anymore now...all the songs produced nowadays are like about love and life...it is so boring!
dedicated to nadiah too..;) Jalil Hamid - Ayam
Ayam... Bermacam ayam Ada ayam kampung, ayam hutan, ayam siam, ayam peti, ayam belanda Macam-macam, perihal ayam Hangat-hangat tahi ayam, sabung ayam, nasi ayam, telur ayam Ayam hutan boleh terbang Ayam kampung dalamlah reban Ayam bandar di dalam pasar Kadang-kadang ada harga, naik harga, turun harga
Ibu... Si ibu ayam Telur sebiji riuh sekampung Ohhh ibu... Oh ibu ayam Telur dieram, anak sereban
Kata di jalan berkaki ayam Kalau makan, ajak-ajak ayam Kalau nak tidur, tidur-tidur ayam Kalau tak nampak, itu rabun ayam
Makan leher ayam nanti bersanding kepala teleng (yeah!) Makan tungking ayam nanti mulut tak reti diam Makan kaki ayam kais pagi makan malam Makan cakar ayam sakit gigi siang malam
Ibu... Si ibu ayam Telur sebiji riuh sekampung Ohhh ibu... Oh ibu ayam Telur dieram, anak sereban
Kata di dalam berkaki ayam Kalau makan, ajak-ajak ayam Kalau nak tidur, tidur-tidur ayam Kalau tak nampak, itu rabun ayam
Makan leher ayam nanti bersanding kepala teleng (yeah!) Makan tungking ayam nanti mulut tak reti diam Makan kepak ayam, peha ayam, dada ayam Satu tak boleh makan, jangan makan bulu ayam
Makan leher ayam nanti bersanding kepala teleng (yeah!) Makan tungking ayam nanti mulut tak reti diam Makan kepak ayam, peha ayam, dada ayam Satu tak boleh makan, jangan makan tahi ayam
Monday, October 09, 2006
another piece of me written down....
i realised oldies sing very sleepily....like p. ramlee and saloma....my opinion.
the last few days has tire my out!
okeh.
1st there was the IFTAR Ramadhan. 10am to 10pm(around there)
i went there wearing all black. ya...the dress code for helpers was black top...somehow i wore all black lah...hilmi named us gothic islamic ladies..hurhur...so around 11, we were brief-ed and....kesian suhailah...she hd to repeat like, 3-4 times the same thing coz of late comers...haha...after the briefing, me, nisy and aisyah talked about things that has happened recently....i guess it has made me clear what kind of person i'd prefer....so anyway, at 12plus we took our wudhu' and we prayed zuhur....after prayers, we(the facs) went to dover to meet and greet the tetamus.....mostly, shikin greeted them...nisy greeted this girl from RP...her name is Maimanah...she was waiting for another girl..her name, Raudha also i think....then later we really meet and greet our tetamus...we played 28 and erm..i duno the other game...we ahd a puzzle piece fix up, and we got to know our group members...after that, we prayed asar and we had a quiz...my group, shikin, nadia, raudha and sakinah..raudha's from rp 2nd year, sakinah's from np 3rd year...i guess sakinah's from a madrasah which was why she and raudhah were so enthu about answering the quiz qns...my group and the other group, which consisted of a guy who was bilal of the day were tough competing....we had a talk by an ustazah..after that we break fast with kurma, brownies and baulu...d brownies were very nice!! so chocolaty...haha...later, we prayed maghrib and then we ate a heavier meal...nasi briyiani with curry chicken and papadam and nuggets...haha...ok lah..kinda nice...after that me and nisy hit the kitchen...to help out with the cleaning up and packing...there were so much food to pack, and so little plastic to use...in the end we just used whatever plastic we could find..we arranged the tables, wiped the tables and sweeped the floor...whoever using that room is going to smell of curry and briyiani the whole dayor it may stink to a worser smell maybe? haha..prize giving ceremony, MY GROUP WON! hahahahaha...thanks to sakinah and raudha of course...they knew the most sehh....we got this very pretty hair clip and a bandana...very nice....after that, me n nisy cabot lah...pe lagi...haha! slept in d train....good thing tak terlajak...brought home quite alot of food...lastly, i wished hidahny [edit]-irealisedileftthishanging- A HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY!! hope she enjoyed it. =)) [/edit]
the next day...yesterday...i skipped madrasah...bad huh...but mom cover up for me when dad asked why i didnt go...yippie! go mom! we got ready and left the house at 10..before that, when mom tried to wake me up, she actually woke me up from a bad dream..i was crying....it may be a weird dream but i cried coz of it...my closest frens whr in there...and they were chasing me like how i was being chased by my sister....ommg...it was scary.....we left the house and stopped by at bedok central...there, i heard this story on Warna.fm that made me cry again...omg..it was so scary....the story was about a person knowing she died not being able to taubat and she the way she described herself being tortured in wherever she was in.....=( so after that we headed to johor...i practically slept in d car the whole trip...collected the baju rayas and i am not happy with what the tailor did to my bajus....sheesh! went to angsana to buy food and mom and dad quarrelled coz mom wanted to go home while dad wanted to stay for break fast....in the end we went off and we stopped by a parking lot to break fast...the traffic jam was soooo long.....but when i fell asleep, it seems time flew right past me...coz when i woke up, we already moved on to the checking zone place...after that we headed home lah...what else...
oyah, did i tell you about the time this cute little boy helped me with the gumball machine...he was soo cute!! the gumball was stuck at the middle part of the maze and he shook the machine for me..then he hit the machine and at last the gumball was released...later, his little brother screamed "I WAAAANNNNNTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"....haha! so cute...gumballs.
so anyway, i didnt go school today...coz i was having a stomachache and also coz i was tired...wahahahah....
i'm trying to watch devil wears prada till the end but the stinking dvd wont let me! argh!
so anyway, i'm done.
Friday, October 06, 2006
another piece of me written down....
we try knew things everyday.
this is the first time in almost 6 years my mom made juice...fruit juice...HAHA!
she wanted to try out the blender and erm, apparently she hasnt explored it well enough yet...cause, she thought the juice will flow out into this container attached on the side of the blender but what she saw was the fibres instead...and suddenly, she realised juice on the tabletop. kekek seh...jakons.. haha..only then we know that there were two sides to the blender, the front, the back....what we thought was the front was actually the back...wasted sia...since we've lost most of the pineapple and carrot juice, mom just told us(me actually) to just put in any fruits....it tasted like mango juice! buuuttt, we didnt put in mango in it...here's the concoction[?]: alittle of pineapple, alittle of carrot, honeydew and orange. haha...okay....a new way to taste mango without the actual fruit...reminds me of the time adelina, kai lin and shak were crazy about FC3's mongo juice...haha...i miss the food there...
so anyway! gems was cool...we played this game, i guess we can call it the corporate game where two people observe what roles the people in the group played...REMINDER: an appointed leader does not mean he/she will act as a leader for all situations. yeap..very true. we had quite a big group seh...my group consists of 9 people! i dont know about the other group....and yeah...we learnt about the net stuff and such....this time about domain names, eg. HugoBoss...and i've just learnt there's a thing called cybersquatter...haha...oukay...
eh, shak! u're lecturer lazy sia!! last week mc, this week let you off so early!! what sehh...not fair!!!!!!
i took the train with...whats her name again? okay, i duno....i dont know my group member's names!!! i only know there's raudha, erm...edwina....and jess....i dont know the others! haha....think of an e-business for me please...
i want a belt, i want a bag, i want a shoe-lace free shoe, when you bluff it, you'll become it. i was bluffing myself that i was happy...am i happy? Artist: Jack's Mannequin Song: Last Straw
i heard that you went out last night and you looked beautiful just like a bat beneath the moonlight i stayed home took a vicodin... sometimes it's all that i can do when i think about the president how did he become the president? and i stayed awake for a day or two i thought about the world drank gin and watched the news and there are some things i'll never understand why the country needs a god and a woman needs a man
and you never write me letters and you never sent my sweaters so i could stay warm when i was without you without you i don't sleep just dream...
and i scratch these words into a black notebook i wrote your name on top i knew you'd never look i tried my best to fight the atmosphere to think the happy thoughts that leave the phone lines clear i see arizona stars from here but peter pan is miles away
and you never write me letters and you never sent my sweaters so i could stay warm when i was without you without you i don't have... a place that's safe from all the monsters that hide in my head and sing me to sleep (sleep) this is the last straw...
this is the last straw she said and i won't wait for you forever while you run around like jfk you watched that poor girl waste the best years of her life and i'll be damned if i am going out i will not go out that way!
and you never write me letters and you never sent my sweaters so you could stay warm when i was gone without you i don't have... a place that's safe from all the monsters that hide in my head and keep me 'til dawn and i think this is the last straw.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
another piece of me written down....
oukkeh dehhh...whats wrong with my windows...its open but it can't be used...erm, are you thinking about the window in the wall? ok, no...its the computer internet window...
anyway, today i came kinda late for DESIGN...and what the lecturer talked about was totally the same as what i heard in OE...made me so sleepy! the row behind me slept almost through the lesson...DESIGN and INTECH modules are almost the same, except INTECH is about the internet, DESIGN(as the title says) is about designing stuff...both these modules can be put into one and be used in OE(online entrepenuership)....cool huh....learnt to make my web page...yippie... ouh ya! my lecturer couldnt hear that ringtone that only kids can hear...haha! and really, i really think he's just acting to shut us up....i find marcus lame...urgh....
so after that, shak and i met nisya at the library and we watch Eiffel I'm in Love [the extended version]...it was soooo nice!! the not extended one is already very nice, so the extended version is double the time nicer...its extended in certain parts making the story more clear...MUST WATCH!!! ADIT IS SOOOOOOOO....HOT! hahahahahhahahah.... ;P
we ended up going to OC late....bought the course book....today's lesson was kinda boring ah...cue to the fact that apparently noone talked about why they were special...and i have to write a 3-5 mins speech on "is education everything?"...hmmm.......help think here....
later today, shak and i decided to stop at tamp and get some food from Mac BUT we saw nisya in the train and we ended up breaking fast at LJ....her fren, Erni, reminded me of hafizah(bvps)...but it was nice....
i want to cry, i want to laugh, i want to jump and i want to scream.
did you know, that skipping rope makes you want to run to the toilet...it makes you pee...haha...don't get me wrong...
Hinder - Lips of an Angel
Honey why are you calling me so late It's kinda hard to talk right now Honey why are you crying is everything okay I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud
Well, my girls in the next room Sometimes I wish she was you I guess we never really moved on It's really good to hear your voice saying my name It sounds so sweet Coming from the lips of an angel Hearing those words it makes me weak And I never wanna say goodbye But girl you make it hard to be faithful With the lips of an angel
It's funny that you're calling me tonight And yes I've dreamt of you too And does he know you're talking to me Will it start a fight No I don't think she has a clue
Well my girls in the next room Sometimes I wish she was you I guess we never really moved on It's really good to hear your voice saying my name It sounds so sweet Coming from the lips of an angel Hearing those words it makes me weak And I never wanna say goodbye But girl you make it hard to be faithful With the lips of an angel
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name It sounds so sweet Coming from the lips of an angel Hearing those words it makes me weak And I never wanna say goodbye But girl you make it hard to be faithful With the lips of an angel(And I never wanna say goodbye) But girl you make it so hard to be faithful With the lips of an angel
Honey why are you calling me so late
till whenever,
goodbye!
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
another piece of me written down....
oukehhhhh, i'm at home.
as if u wanted to know.
so anyway, i was shocked to see my sports club camp fren at the ssp meeting just now..i thought she was in the Musikarama thing, but she wasnt but in the end, i think mai pulled her and fren in....
i have to get this feeling out now or it'll stay till whenever.
i duno whether i should go to ssp meeting anymore seh....coz i've not been going to the meeting due to the fact that i changed my number and i didnt know of any meetings going on...and like they've been giving(to my opinion) the "we dont want you here, why are you here?" message..i'm like, as what hilmi said, alienated...and some more, after i read the script, there isnt much for me to do either...there's not much scenes or should i say none that needs any dance steps...lagipon si nadhirah ade...when i go there, i feel kinda left out lah coz they are talking about something i cannot understand...like what sehhh....kalau pergi abe buang mase, might as well i go home and rest or what kan?? i dont want to be pulled in sia...scary you know...so much for being excited to be in the commitee..hurhur.
so anyway, kat dalam train tadi ade some people who dress pretty mattish/minahish to me..and like, i was just looking, and the people kinda stared at me..so i kinda not know where to put my eyes at..kalau aku tutop mate, tertido pulak kann...and my mp3 was needing a new battery...alahaii...baru tuka seh tadi pagi...need to buy a new packet i guess...pe sehhh...
den just now biler aku pergi skolah, got this guy stand opposite me...i like his shoes tho...so anyway, whoelse am i to see other than him kan? den just now somehow our eyes met...kinda kekek seh...i straight away looked in a different direction...maybe he can tell i was looking at him...ahahah....pe sehhh...
during CAD, my oh-so considerate classmates switched d speaker damn kuat lah...macam nak buat konsert gitu...sakit telinge sehhh..nak dgr ape pon tak tau..pastu, my lecturer stalled the comp access...even with the comp not being able to use, my comp was making alot of noise lahh...d songs still playing...ahaha....d lecturer blh complain very noisy pulak tu...haha! kekek...1st time i see the mouse and ppt slides move on its own...haha...jakon....nak buat project tapi in the end tak buat sangat ah...we still have not got the hang of it...sheesh...
yesterday break-fast kat seoul garden...ni lah kawan2 aku yang berade ni...idea sikit nye bagus tapi uwang nye takde...makk...i wantd to use the money to get my stuffs and erm, prsentss sehhh....i was on the verge of crying lah...instead of 23, i came out 35 lah....look at how much i have to tokok....mcm, not worth it gitu...sebab tgh bulan puase kan...pastu kat seoul garden confirm kene mkan to the max nye...bulan puase usually we dont eat much kan...like what seh...but, i guess it was an ok night since yah, there were laughters...lepas da makan, semue org macam da drunk(but with food instead)....ishh....
bro gave me 25 to buy the belt but i used it for yesterday's breakfast....andi've chopped my hair...its kinda short..and thin...i like....i'll heed the hairdresser's advice to use wax and stuff...hah.....
what a loong blog....i'd like to do this more...just need the time and the i-need-to-rant mood...haha...
and whats up with chendol?!!! eeeeeeeeeeekkk!! hingus beku...urghh...
till whenever, goodbye!
another piece of me written down....
urgh.....................................irritating sia these classmates of mine...bukak lagu sekuat-kuat hati sakk!! nak bukak concert pe?! kalau lagu sedap takpe jugak ah...very the inconsiderate sia....pastu lagi bangse die....eeesh....mentang2 ade speaker....irritating inconsiderate to the maximum sia.....
ishh
astaghfirullah halazim....
aku sedang berpuase.
Monday, October 02, 2006
another piece of me written down....
i keep listening to this song and this is the only song, when i keep listening to it, i don't get bored of it..i recommend it to you all...ahahaha...
Am I not pretty enough? Is my heart too broken? Do I cry too much? Am I too outspoken? Don't I make you laugh? Should I try it harder? Why do you see right through me?
I live, I breathe. I let it rain on me. I sleep, I wake. I try hard not to break.
I crave, I love. I've waited long enough. I try as hard as I can.
Am I not pretty enough? Is my heart too broken? Do I cry too much? Am I too outspoken? Don't I make you laugh? Should I try it harder? Why do you see right through me?
I laugh, I feel. I make believe it's real. I fall, I freeze. I pray down on my knees. I hope, I stand. I take it like a man. I try as hard as I can.
Am I not pretty enough? Is my heart too broken? Do I cry too much? Am I too outspoken? Don't I make you laugh? Should I try it harder? Why do you see right through me? Why do you see, Why do you see, Why do you see right through me? Why do you see, Why do you see, Why do you see right through me? Why do you see, Why do you see, Why do you see right through me? Why do you see, Why do you see, Why do you see right through me?
Sunday, October 01, 2006
another piece of me written down....
even without u seeing the scar, it hurts like hell. it hurts so much, i have no words to describe it.
damn.
my sandal strap falls right on top of the scar, so it isnt visible to anyone. it makes it hurt even MORE!
"why you look so sad? tired huh?" was the question hidahny asked today...i was late for madrasah...i woke up late and i delayed...but is it obvious that i look that way? maybe i'm just tired..urgh..everything will fall back to square satu....hah.....my phone will go dead quiet, i dont think it's useful anymore. how glad....i was getting over this bgr thing last year and i was doing very well..now i'll have to start over...all over...goddd....the last time i ended one, i spent my day with mei juan <3...this time i spent it with my khairiah...i love these people....they just help me to get up and move on.
when you fall, its not how you fall that matters, its how you get up...true?
alright, time to get things going..i need to hand in my assignment that i forgot to do last friday...geez....
Title: Unforgivable Sinner Artist: Lene Marlin
Kinda lose your sense of time 'Cause the days don't matter no more All the feelings that you hide Gonna tear you up inside You hope she knows you tried
Follows you around all day And you wake up soaking wet 'Cause between this world and eternity There is a face you hope to see
You know where you've sent her You sure know where you are You're trying to ease off But you know you won't get far And now she's up there Sings like an angel But you can't hear those words And now she's up there Sings like an angel Unforgivable Sinner
You've been walking around in tears No answers are there to get You won't ever be the same Someone cries and you're to blame
Struggling with a fight inside Sorrow you'll defeat The picture you see it won't disappear Not unpleasant dreams or her voice you hear
You know where you've sent her You sure know where you are You're trying to ease off But you know you won't get far And now she's up there Sings like an angel But you can't hear those words And now she's up there Sings like an angel Unforgivable Sinner
Maybe one time lost But now you're found Stand right up before You hit the ground Maybe one time lost But now you're found Stand right up before You hit the ground - hit the ground
You know where you've sent her You sure know where you are You're trying to ease off But you know you won't get far And now she's up there Sings like an angel But you can't hear those words And now she's up there Sings like an angel Unforgivable Sinner
"She looked at his face, and it was like watching something closed down - shutters pulled, curtains drawn, doors slammed shut. A polite, immoble, stranger's face emerged. It wasn't Charlie anymore. It was just some guy she didn't know, who didn't know her, who didn't particularly want to know her." -Three Wishes, Liane Moriarty.