another piece of me written down....hyelo again.....
i just realised i didnt put a lyric for today....hahax...
urghhhhh....i'm being cursed day by day....
last time, this year, on saturday, my mom cursed me i'll go to an ITE!, what d fuck! what the hell! what the?!!
this year also, my father cursed me a thousand times....what are the curses, i dont know coz he kept saying "u want to get cursed izit?!! hah! hah!" damn!!!!
my 2nd bro cursed me of being stupid, lazy and whatever
and just now my sis just cursed me of failing my Os!!!!!!! what the FUCKKKK~!
bloody hell curses.....
urghhhhh.....the reason why my 1st bro didnt curse me is bcoz he's not home most of the time, and the reason my lil bro don't curse me is bcoz......bcoz....some of you might know just why...
what the shit sey! bloody fucked up sia.....blood shit......haizzzzz....n i've already got a curse of my own.....so i beg you, dont curse me even further coz i can't take it.....i can't take the pressure, neither can i take it, swallow it whole...
Can't Take It - All american rejectsYou speak to me
I know this will be temporary
You ask to leave,but I can tell you that
I've had enough
Chorus
I can't take it
This welcome is gone and
I've waited long enough to make it
and if you're so strong
you might as well just do it alone
And I'll watch you go
Step up to me
I know that you've got something buried
I'll set you free
You set conditions, but I've had enough
ChorusCome back home, won't you come back home?
You step in line, you got a lot to prove
It comes and goes
Yeah, it comes and goes
A step in time, yeah it's a lot to move
I know this will be temporary
I know this will be temporary
I know this will be, but I've had enough
ChorusI can't take it
This welcome is gone and
I've waited long enough to make it
and if you're so strong
you might as well just do it alone
And I'll watch you go
another piece of me written down....hey world...
how has it beeyn?....anyway, i seriously need to do a reality check now...and also a personality check....yeap...one day i shall do that and get all my thoughts down and just make myself realise that i'm imperfect...yes....mmhmm....anyways, had a wonderful chat with my mendaki buddy just now....i was so damn excited to talk to her...i duno why...maybe coz just now we had a damn difficult and extremely draggy emaths paper 2 for our SA and we practically gave up doing, esp the boys and including our teacher.....hahax! but i guess it includes the reason zahara didnt come....she makes me feel awkward...as in makes me feel there's somebody out there who hates me....i don't like that grudgy feeling but its just there...i try not to show it though by not talking much buuuttt sometimes i can't help it...damn...and due to that ill-feeling, i keep falling out....yeap....this isnt the 1st time.....it has been since sec 1...nooo...its been following me since pri school....there's always someone out there that doesn't like me and i end up feeling outcasted and stuff and just fall out....it also does include the fact that i'm always analysing people's flaws which makes ME have grudges against them and i cause myself to fall out....
well, faridah, you've done a great job at falling out...congrats!....never fail each year....its a bad thing....its so bad that i feel there will be one day i'll end up like those who has died coz of peer pressure, depression or watsoever...dearly lil faridah isnt dearly at all...not a bit....anyway, the last few day, weeks, months, i've chged many ppl's perspectives about myself.....yeap.....i have done alot of it......not to the good, but to the bad...as i've said before in my previous posts for the past year, i'm a bitch....get rid of her!!! haahx.....hmph......care to change?
another piece of me written down....hyelo worlddd.............how are ya?!
hahax...nice start....anyway, u've heard this, we all have..
THE PRELIMS ARE OVER!
at last....n coz of it, i've lost track of time....n sleep of coz...
even with the lost of sleep, i have no confidence in passing anything...
not even english....neither maths.....haiz.zz...z..zz.z.z.z
anyway, now i have got the hang of intensive studying...so i wont let it go...
i gotta continue till the end of Os...
oh how nice it will be to get the great marks n feel happy for myself..
at least once...=)
anyway, this week has been relaxed but scary..
last monday, i think, my grandad got into an accident he wont forget..
while we were having our history exam, while the rain was falling cats and dogs,
he wanted to shut the window when it slammed shut in front of him.
the glass broke, and fell onto his hand, slitting his wrist causing blood to ooz profusely..
till he can't bear the pain, my grandmom called the police.
the police came, called my mom.
my mom said the scene looked as if someone was murdered.
blood stains from the room till the kitchen.
it wasn't funny, it wasn't on purpose, it was a tragic accident..
my grandad got sent to the hospital, put under observation..
he got out 3 days later..
2 days later, someone jumped out from my building...
which should be around 5-6pm..
the body was all over the place, but by the time i looked down at the scene from my apartment,
it was already covered by a canvas
the next day, after school, there was a mini funeral for her/him
i conclude, he/she is a chinese, buddhist? might be..
heard yesterday the person was from 11th floor...
haizzz....
all this are ways to commit suicide,
slit ur wrist or jump down a building..
what's your choice??
anyways, i realized now, my grandmother only wants to shake my hand when i wanna go home...does this means, she wants me out instead of in?? coz she doesnt want to 'salam' me when i come in....sad ah when i realized this, but i'd just take it she's busy or something...but i like my grandad thou...ahaha....he dreads my sister! woohoo! ahahahahah....bluek!
went out with nad just now! went to the lib....n talked abt prom! i think my colour code is gonna be black n turquois....i'm in love with turquois!!!!!! love the colour...kinda exotic...i wanna get a turquois top soon...i dun care when but soon....wahahaahahah....
n abt dat guy i've been talking abt....i guess its just cool with him....wahahahahaahha...bluek!
Other side the world - KT TunstallOver the sea and far away
She's waiting like an iceberg
Waiting to change
But she's cold inside
She wants to be like the water
All the muscles tighten in her face
Buries her soul in one embrace
They're one and the same
Just like water
Chorus:
The fire fades away
Most of every dayIs full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're the other side of the world to me
On comes the panic light
Holding on with fingers and feelings alike
But the time has come
To move along
Chorus
Can you help me?
Can you let me go?
And can you still love me
When you can't see me anymore?
The fire fades away
Most of every day
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're the other side of the world
The other side of the world
You're the other side of the world to me...
another piece of me written down....he always misunderstood me....always....
now he has the impression i hate him....
thanks to him, my day is ruined....
MISUNDERSTOODShould I? Could I?
Have said the wrong things right a thousand times
If I could just rewind, I see it in my mind
If I could turn back time, you'd still be mine
You cried, I died
I should have shut my mouth, things headed south
As the words slipped off my tongue, they sounded dumb
If this old heart could talk, it'd say you're the one
I'm wasting time when I think about it
[Chorus:]
I should have drove all night,
I would have run all the lights
I was misunderstood
I stumbled like my words,
Did the best I could
Damn, misunderstood
Could I? Should I?
Apologize for sleeping on the couch that night
Staying out too late with all my friends
You found me passed out in the yard again
You cried, I tried
To stretch the truth, but didn't lie
It's not so bad when you think about it[Chorus:]
I should have drove all night,
I would have run all the lights
I was misunderstood
I stumbled like my words, did the best I could
Damn, misunderstood
Intentions good
[Guitar Solo]
It's you and I, just think about it...
[Chorus:]
I should have drove all night
I would have run all the lights
I was misunderstood
I stumbled like my words, did the best I could
I 'm hanging outside your door
I've been here before
Misunderstood
I stumbled like my words, did the best I could
Damn, misunderstood
Intentions good.
another piece of me written down....i hated this song yesterday....
JANUARI - Glenn FredlyBerat bebanku
Meninggalkanmu
Separuh nafas jiwaku
Sirna...
Bukan salahmu
Apa dayaku
Mungkin benar cinta sejati
Tak berpihak
Pada kita
Reff:
Kasihku
Sampai disini kisah kita
Jangan tangisi keadaannya
Bukan karena kita berbeda
Dengarkan lagu.....lagu ini
Melodi rintihan hati ini
Kisah kita berakhir di
Januari
Selamat tinggal kisah sejatiku
Wow....pergilah
another piece of me written down....hyelooooooooooooo wooorrrrrllllllldddddddddddd....hahax
nowadays, i'm feeling great!
i'm feeling Haaaaaaaaaaappppeeeyyyyyyyy,
n i'm enjoying the best of the best.....=)
yeap....hell with d shit feeling i've been tortured by...now i'm a new me.
ANYWAY, i've started reading books....n i've realized how goood the books are..wahahahahaha...
1st book: THE BIG LOVE by Sarah Dunn
-nice book! love the language...hahahx...'fuckhead'
-i like d content...all abt going thru a life of finding ur true love BUUTTT this book didnt have a happy ending...but i like the ending thou.....
-taught me abt how we don't have to stay with a person we've been with for a few yrs....we can chg.
some quotes..
"there are times where i need to rein in, and this is one of them"
"Certain people come into your life and you can't hold on to them; you simply take what they have to offer and try to give them something in return"
"Now, when i find myself in such a situation these days, i do my best to honour my own experience of things, and i try not to get involved in an inordinate amount of hypocrisy and personal misrepresentation, at the very least, i try to avoid telling any outright lies"
thrs more...but i'm kinda lazy to type AND i'm sure u are lazy to read...therefore, i wont do anything more to bore you.....
i'm sick! due to the kendarat work last sunday....i rained n we had to risk it. n i'm d victim! eventhou i thot i was bein shield..but hell no, i wasnt. shit!
i like this guy....hmm.....who? cant tell ya.....no lah...i dont like anyone...but thr is this guy at mendaki who's kinda cute....HAHAX! wats this.....i'm in my crazy world again....hahax....n i'm gonna be slaughtered coz i've been bz these few days msgin ppl....ahahahahahahahha...must study faridah!!!!!
erm.....cant wait for the many chalets coming soooon....N PROM!!! anyone care to ask me out? eeee.....thick skin sia!! hahax....kekekeke....n yea...my bdae is coming...thrfore idayu's bdae is nearer thus, PRELIMS IS JUST RIGHT AT THAT CORNER!...now that's so negative...
dat converse has caused everything to return. bittersweet memories of the past...i dont want anymore tears to roll from these eyes anymore. it still hurts and it will hurt more. if possible, i dont want to know you anymore. i dont even want to recognize any single part of you anymore.now's my time to study and concentrate. and finish my book! "all she wants" by barbara freethy...go n find it...its nice! hehehehehe....