i've changed you know. i have changed too much even for me to catch up. and it's not a good change at all. i'm sure everyone who's near me can realise that. i dont know what happened to me but i just lost myself on the way. i dont know where i'm going nowadays and home is the last place i want to be. my studies, hurh, its all over the place. cca? they are doing fine. i need someone to get me back on track. to endure all my shittyness and force me to be good. because right now, i've just lost all the hope i've been keeping for months/years. being told i've changed is the last thing i need because i know it already. just pull me in. i'm straying.
The Diary Of Jane - Breaking BenjaminIf I had to
I would put myself right beside you
So let me ask
Would you like that?
Would you like that?
And I don't mind
If you say this love is the last time
So now I'll ask
Do you like that?
Do you like that?
No!
Something's getting in the way.
Something's just about to break.
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane.
So tell me how it should be.Try to find out what makes you tick.
As I lie down
Sore and sick.
Do you like that?
Do you like that?
There's a fine line between love and hate.
And I don't mind.
Just let me say that
I like that
I like that
Something's getting in the way.
Something's just about to break.
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane.
As I burn another page,
As I look the other way.
I still try to find my place in the diary of Jane.
So tell me how it should be.
Desperate, I will crawl
Waiting for so long
No love, there is no love.
Die for anyone
What have I become?
Something's getting in the way.
Something's just about to break.
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane.
As I burn another page,
As I look the other way.
I still try to find my place in the diary of Jane
kudos to all casts and backstage(includes the whole giant crew) for making the show a hit and making everyone regret going for the other shows. without you, we wouldnt get to where we are right now.
i remembered it was only june when we started talking about muzikarama. it was really something because nizal had his ending idea, a girl blowing off a candle. and from there we started, with the ideas, with the committee. it was really the stepping stone for the big earth.
so we started with the committee, everyone was there, Marina Square's square bench outside john little. everyone was appointed a role, and i was appointed stage and arts director. shak was the other stage director and aizat was the other arts director. without anything started yet, i already felt the pressure. ama and aisyahbi were the make up artiste, asmida took care of the costume, namira took in lighting and nisya was the finance manager, while suhaila became the casts manager. aizat and sarah took care of publicity and of course jeffri took the role of music director. who were the directors? maisarah of course, and she had to get help, which were voluntarily accepted by nizal and nadiah. everything was voluntary. and each of us were given a trust to keep sake. it was really very exciting. the most memorable thing i could remember of that day was that i just took out my wisdom teeth(2 of them) and i couldn't talk at all. neither could i eat solid food. but heck, i went on with the eating and tried my best to write what i needed to talk out. it was funny. and we were all set, ready to go.
then, we got ready all administrating documents. proposals especially. timeline and publicity had to be ready like, asap and it was just the starting of everything. it was really quite stressing actually. after the proposals were in and accepted, we started calling in the cubs and the auditions. yes, the auditions. that was THE start. but first, there were scripts to be done. and mind you, it was really tough to come up with a superb one. i came down for a few script sessions and i myself, could feel the stress everyone were going through. maybe i can't exactly tell since i wasn't the one having to squeezee brainjuices out. but they managed to get the outline done. and it was about the malay community but presented in a hari raya kind of way. but this idea was scraped when asmida got the news that the place was available on the 16th due to deepavali on the 8th and stuff like that. we couldnt have it on october as it was too early.so 16th november it was. because of that, we decided to scrap the hari raya story as it was too mundane but the idea about the malay community was still on. not only that, nizal had this crazy idea to make them casts crazy. cool idea..
sooo, we wanted to start with how pathetic the malay community was. the starting was 3 siblings, insyirah, adam and natasha, having only rice and soy sauce to eat and that their dad came in and whacked them. and starts on how people like the mat reps and the makciks treated them so badly that insyirah had to work and leave her siblings in the hands of her kepo makcik. it was really typical and then they decided to scrap the idea of a story and put it to mini stories instead. mira was suppose to do about the mat reps and diah had to do about a person who daydreams and shak had to do about the kepo reporter and i cant remember what nizal had to do. but i must say they were having this really taxing job in getting something that had a real BANG. in the end, haddad and mai and seniors came in to help. but this wasn't the end of script changes.
the auditions were wow. i can still remember the first few people who came down ffor the auditions, ayu and junaidi, filzah and khairul. and the whole gang, wano safiah najib arif shafiq hafiz. it was so kecoh!!! and everyone felt shy and scared to go in alone. haha. and i mean, who wouldn't since there were more than THREE judges in the room! ayu and junaidi were cool. junaidi could really sing well and it was really heart melting! ayu had her own angelic voice but i didnt hear her sing because she kept it only for those in the room. heeheehhh.. i was quite shocked to see filzah because i kinda felt guilty for not telling her about ssp. aiseyy. khairul too! and he had that fierce lion in him which was a good tool. that was only for day 1, day 2 was just as good. nani, shakirah and some guys came down and it was really funny!!!! haha. i can remember nizal telling that macho guy to move the chair in 8 counts and dance at the same time. freakkinnngg funnehhh. after that audition day, we had to go to NYP's produuction. that was whhen we decided to change the script as it was totally similar to ours. dramatic act. but we were motivated to add in a choreographed dance with cool costumes. uhuhhhh. the 3rd day of audition was real funny too as aidil and wahidah came down with shahirah and fizza and wahidah's friend. and also some others ah. haha. wahidah really cracked me up mann. and aidil really looked so ignorant and proud, i swear i wanted to smack his face the moment i met him. sheeesh! and his most memorable word was "yezzz". but he really could sing lah. saluutessss! wahidah was cool toooooo. her keponess and bitchyness was top notch! haha!!!! gerekkkkk.
after all the auditions were done, the scriptors went back to writing a top notch script while nadiah and maisarah started with directing. i can't remember what the first training was like but i know it was introductory. everyone was still new to everybody else and we didn't have everyone down yet since we were doing the trainings scene by scene. oh! i remembered the first time everyone met to be given their roles!!! haha. it was at t11a and almost everyone was there. they had to give their contact numbers to suhaila and suhaila was suppose to contact them when their scenes were going to be done. the look on everyone's faces was just tense and nervous. not many knew each other yet. some had to go off early for work and others were just there because they were called down. there was a brief intro on the scopes of each characters and then everyone could go off. training started the next day. committee had a meeting i think. i could remember on that day, the scripts were not printed yet and the casts came just to be told of their characters. some people were turned off. but no pin points, as we needed to get started.
trainings started a few weeks before fasting month and it was not bad at all. the dancers, to me, were great. they've got this spirit to start trainings early in the morn just to squeeze out ideas for the dance. for the drama scene on the other hand, they were doing pretty well too. they weren't shy and well, as my sec sch saying goes, they were rough diamonds ready to be polished. cheydebahhh. haha! the script team still had to go on with their work eventhough trainings had to start.
when trainings started during the ramadhan period and i must say, the spirits were still there. even when some people have to go off before 7 to get home in time for break fast, they still stayed as long as they could, leaving the place with a heavy heart. during fasting month, the dancers too had their fighting spirit. it was beautiful. the scene when everyone order their food, and when they break fast itself. kecoh nak mamps seh. those working had to take a break from working and those filial ones had to keep calling.
just imagine being in B11, with everyone sitting in a circle, listening for the evening azan, reading the food prayer and eating all at the same time. passing around kurma, courtesy of pakcik chicken rice stall at FC3. and after breaking fast, everyone will kecohkecoh back to work. usually, after breaking fast, the mood disappears. haha..
but as trainings carried on, problems started to pile. i contributed to the problem too by not coming down for trainings and not only that, i barely lifted a finger. in my mind, i thought, they can handle everything. i don't need to be there, i'm not needed. i'm just filling spaces. well, that was what i thought. until i actually started going back to trainings. i realised, they needed the help but i just don't know where to help. i've never acted so i can't show what that something is. and i was supposed to choreograph but i just couldnt choreograph. i am not a choreographer, i am only a dancer. but the only way i thought i could help was to call back the ancient(who was apparently still in school), shamil. haha..but, he knows best so why not have him to come down right? everything turned so tight that it was easy to hear someone burst with geramness. ade-ade aje orang yang kene cocok pasal keje tak buat betol. but the trainings were still fun, with cheeky people everywhere.
and then we had a meeting. after weeks of training, we had a meeting with the ancients. everything was laid. from musicians to dancers to costumes to casts to committee. it was a hell of a meeting till the ancients clearly told us that the fault was in us. it was depressing but we had to accept it. from then on we tried to clear and avoid all mistakes. well, nizal and the directors told the casts straight in the face that they weren't good enough and that their discipline was terrible and all effing things they could come up with. there was a change. the cubs got more punctual, more alert and tried their best to get to that point where nizal wanted them to be. it was tough, but everyone had to go through it. it was time nizal didn't do everything on his own and let everyone else in to help.
we had a break from training for a few days. it wasn't really a break. come to think of it, we didn't have a break at all. from wednesdays n fridays, we went to mondays wednesdays thursdays and fridays. we tried to slot in hari raya celebration as well of course. i went for the ancient's celebration and the cubs one too. it was fun. haha. it was those 2 days that we could forget about mzk3 for awhile and just have fun. the cubs were reallyreally spirited and united. on their celebration, they came to my house first and about all of them were there on time! talk about punctuality. and the funniest thing was, at aidil's, we watch suster ngesot and that carried on till mira's till the next week! and at mira's, jihad watched the stingray like soccer. on the ancient's celebration, we rocked the two vehicles bebeh. heck with the pcu. and due to that, i didn't have time to complete my elearning. thanks to filzah and khairul, i manage to smoke through it. air makin sikit..
trainings carried on even with MST. mine was terrible. dance i was completed by then and it was beautiful. to think of us as first timers, the choreography was better than expected. almost every day we headed home late. reached home at least at 12 was nothing new. heck with calls from mom and 2nd bro, i had work to do. because of mzk3, i failed 3 out of 4 papers. i passed the 1st paper so well that it proved me if i studied, i can pass. haaahaaaa. thanks.
we had a meeting on thursday and it was depressing. the ancients were really worried about us. nizal gave us a bang to get our attention. i guess we really have this very bad attention span. and there was one topic that they talked to us about that made us wake up real hard. it was about whether to postpone and start back to square one or carry on and fight till the end. i was one with postponing at first because, well, we had to compete with 4 other shows and well, the show was only halfway there. i opted for postponing also because well, the dancers needed more time to polish. jeff and haddad fought for not postponing because it would make us look bad and by postponing, it was bring the morale of everyone else down when it was already 6 feet under already. the result was that we dont postpone and we stand up to fight. fighter spirit was there. we decided to have a camp to polish more nearly sparkling diamonds and change whats needed to be changed.
during my mst week, we had a stayover at westcoast from friday onwards.the situation was already so critical that we had to have this camp/training. spirit was there.it was the best ever. westcoast's experience was really something. we could hear the echo, the breeze and rain was there. and the run to mcdonalds was funny!!! we seeked shelter at mcdonalds till morn. almost everyone had sleepy eyes with eyebags and the darkest eyerings(uh..). but the experience was seriously love. the pressure was there for us still to coomplete everything ASAP. why? BECAUSE the show was exectly the next week. AND YESSAHHH DANCE COMPLETED OREADY AND VERY PRETTYY!!!!
monday tuesday and wednesday we had the auditorium to ourselves. on thursday we had dance@mob and on friday we had the auditorium for the whole day.(duh! it was show day.) monday's training was reallly weak. everyone was still recovering from the camp and it was really dead. nizal eff-ed up so many times that right after the dance routine, he gave the musicians shit. it wasn't really needed but maybe he had too much bottled up so he had to let it out somewhere. i helped shak and jihad with the stage managing and alittle choreography. the ancients stayed till 6 that day to solve scenes 567. but on tuesday, it was mainly scene 5. on tuesday, i can say it was practically shit. us committee were given shit from 11pm onwards and it was not good. some of the ancients even cried because they were so angry at us. now it was left to them and not us. we listen, they work. i felt so freaking bad. but we had to change now or never. so on wednesday, we had a full dress rehersal. in the morn, the cubs met and they rehersed scene 5 and started with scene 6. on wednesday, after the dance's routine, adillah aizat and me talked to the dancers that it was time people talk their own initiative and not be reminded reeepppppeaaaaattteedddlllyyyy about the samee thinggss. streesssss!! i left adillah n aizat to finish up all costumes and other things while i help jihad and shak and epain with stuffs that's not done yet. stress woiiii. ended the day feeling better and with donuts! yummeh.
thursday, we had a training and rashidah and i did the prologue, leaving the dancers to whatever they needed to do. rashidah had to learn the song and perform eerie last min. she's actually good and she made everyone less stress somehow. the choreography was superb. nyaaahaaaa.kerakarrrr. and not only that, we stayed up till 1 at al-amin's to solve the prologue's dance routine. and then the scenes were done. we were left with a few hours to showtime beybeh!!
on friday, ON FRIDAY! came super early, did scene prologue and then we gave a full run. it wasnt that good but hey, at least we had one major full run! then it was matinee time. the crowd was paaatheticccc.the lightings were bad, some people forgot their lines and stuff. dance was ok. MORE NEEDED!!!! theeennn, it was time. IT WAS TIMEEEE!!!! EVERYTHING WAS SO HECTIC LIKE MADD!!!!! MAKE UP DONE!???!? COSTUMES OKAY?!?!?!?! CHANGE SCENE!!!! PROPS PEOPLE OUT!!! CURTAIINS CLOSEEE!! AV OUT!!! MICROPHONES ON!!!!! 5 4 3 2 1 SHOWTIME!!!! dance was GOOODD!!!!!! superbbbb. everytime i ended the dance with 'fuck', now i ended it with a YESSAH!!! but rashidah cried because she nearly tripped! omg. don't cry sayang. it wasn't your fault. but all other things were perfect. except that i lost balance lah. but. erhh. my fault. then the show started!!!!!!!!!!!!! and the crowds were the BEESSTTTT!! everyone felt great thaat the crowd laughed where they thought were never funny. fabuloso!!! hahahhahhahha. musicians were great tooooooooooooooooo. the casts were MAGNIFICENT!! MAMARAZZII REPORTER PEGUAM DOKTOR SARAH SECHAN, MKK KUCINGGGG M DAUD KALAUUU GEMOKKKK KUDISS NURSESSSS OPRAH CUKUUPHAJJAH AND ALL OTHERSSSSS!!! it was LOVE!!!!! the directors deserved more credit actually. throughout this whole post, just count how many times nizal's name came out. SALUTE! he's great lah kan people?!?! without him, maybe we wouldn't have gotten what we got. superb show everyone! and everyone else who went the other shows regretted not coming for ours. we've gotta give it a HIP HIP HURRAY!!!
thanks ancients for being there all the time. =)
Labels: muzikarama
thw wheel on the bus goes round and round, round and round, round and round.
but what happens when the wheel of life stops at the bottom and there's not even a slight push to get it back up?
maybe i'm at that state right now. the worst state of this period of life where every single thing and person is giving me the worst. maybe it's my fault. yes, it's my fault. it's my fault. it's my fault. it's my fault. it's my fault. it's my fault. it's my fault. it's my fault. it's my fault. it's my fault. it's my fault. it's my fault. it's my fault. it's my fault. it's my fault. it's my fault. it's my fault. it's my fault. it's my fault. it's my fault. it's my fault. it's my fault. it's my fault. it's my fault.
and nobody else can turn it over. this is that part of my life when i tried calling everyone but noone picked up the phone. when all i can do is drown all voices with sorrow and tears. when all hurt is felt nomore and is like a star in the sky, never coming down at all.
only a few people knows about yesterday and thanks to one, i felt alittle beter today. not the bruises, not the pain, but the mental.
i miss everyone don't everyone know that? but i can't reach anyone. i don't want fake smiles, i don't want attention, i just want to know about everyone else. i don't want to sound like a busybody. but where did asmida go? why don't i see mira now? where's nizal?? diah i miss you. jeff, play more beats. nadee how are you? dayu how's school? raider hows cca? shak nak main bingo? nisya amcm baby2 cute kau? aisyahbi da berpunye blm? aizat bile nak klua? sarah nak gi town? masita biler kau free? and alah, ramai lagi lah yg aku nak tanye kabar tapi aku tak tertanye sebab i just feel so distant right now. what more with my family.
puckit i hatetit.
i want to go back to east coast. i want to sit at cbtl and study, i want to walk home and i want nothing else but peace. please. stop hurting me. you won't get anything out of that. go away.
i dont know how i feel about it.
i'm sad/glad/remorseful/etc that it is over.
the whole trip to yesterday night's show was a whirlwind of emotions.
there was one time i really disgust everysingle one of the mzk3 crew,
but there was alot of times i reallyreally loved them. there's no words to describe why they are lovable people. it's just them.
dancers casts committee musicians propstars costumeartists makeupartists. all of them had a big impact on this show.
i could cry if i wanted to, but i stopped myself.
guys & girls, you rock!
every rehersal we had, it was really something.
aidil said, " every training we had, we always get critics. semue slalu kate kite tak bagos tau."
aidil, i have to agree on that. i don't know why but i noticed that.
but like what haddad said, "damn you all for giving us a hard time."
maybe we have to have a crowd in front of us before we give our best?
i dont know why, it was at the
grand show that i could feel the presence of muzikarama07.
dancers especially. during the debrief, nobody except for wahidah mentioned about us.
i'm reallyreally impressed with each and everyone. really. and to think that i was the only one who kept thinking ii couldn't do a good job, it was really wrong. maybe it is because of that, i didn't have my confidence on you guys. but everyone proved me wrong. aizat cried before the show, rashidah cried after. i dont know how you all feel. seriously. but i know, everyone feel really proud that everything went exceptionally well last night. i love you all. lets bring up this new group, the group we call
WANGSA SANG SINGA.
and i want to apologise to aizat and shakinah. really i have to.
í have to apologise to shakinah because i didn't help her at all. i dont deserve to be appointed at stage manager. i didn't help. at all. i am so sorry shak. very very sorry i didnt help you at all. but you did a great job. you managed everything very well. and i am impressed by you. GOGO SECOTET!
and aizat, i know i have been a pain in the ass. selalu aje membangkang. ade aje yang tak betol. asek-asek takde during dance training. leaving you and adillah to do all the work. i'm very difficult to work with, i know. when things aren't right, i'll blabber alot but do nothing. i know. i know all that. i apologise from the bottom of my heart. i don't deserve to to be up front with you two when the names were called. you two did the best! GOGO WANGSA SANG SINGA!
as for the committee, i know i've not been much of a help. i only know how to sit, watch and give comments. nizal, diah, as, you threesome did some kickass stuff during the months. nizal with script, as and diah helping with the admin and other things. i know nizal as and diah, you three were the most stressed and tired people around. i'm sorry if i said some wrong things to any of you. but you've proved everyone that you deserve the names chief and vice chiefs. i salute you three. i support you from behind ok. =))
not leaving behind jeff, mira, sarah, nisya. every single one helped out in every way they could. jeff, somehow you glued everything back when everything was on the verge of falling apart. you fought for this show to go on. and that decision you made was best for us. nisya, you helped me in choreographing dancesteps, you helped me in so much things, i dont know where to start. but i'm glad you were always there. thanks nisya. mira and sarah, korg awesome ah. whenever we were looking for solutions, both of you were there to provide one. you calmed all tense situations and got things going.
and the seniors. maiiiiii, adillah, shamil, haddad, jihad, epain and didi. korg power lah kan. you guys really fought through the battle. i guess this mzk3 is the most stressing emotional ride ever kan? because haddad and shamil, i dont know how many times i saw you guys cried but yes, you guys cried. and mai cried too. jihad and epain had to be the strong ones to slap everyone in the face to wake up and face reality. now i know how much this means to everyone of you. i'm proud to have you all as my seniors. =)))
and last but now least,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HADDAD DADDY!!!!!
I MISS ALL OF MY
FRIENDS
!!!!
stress be gone by friday. please.
ecp.ecp.ecp.ecp.ecp.
if only you would read this. if only you knew exactly how i feel and if only i knew how you really feel. but i'm sorry.
i'm sorry i've not been meeting your expectations. i'm sorry i've not been doing a good job of everything. i'm sorry i've not been trying and giving the best i can to everything i'm doing.
i'm sorry. i miss you. i love you. i never forget everything we've done all these years together.
i know i've been hurting you. i know i've been that devil you always hated. i know i've done so much sins and never ever once said a sincere sorry.
i miss every hour we had. i wish i could turn back time and relive those moments again. i miss all the laughter we use to have, i miss all the good and bad times.
i miss learning how to ride the bicycle, i miss sitting at the beach, i miss going to the market, i miss my first few years with you. how i wish i could have them all back.
you were always there when i needed advice. you were always there when i needed the extra help i can't get. you were always there to nurture and mould the good side of me.
but i've disappointed you. i've disappointed you so much now, i don't know where to start to turn it all better.
i miss my bed times. you were always there to hug me to sleep, you never left me alone until i fell asleep. and i never failed to say
'faridah sayang mak. selamat malam mak.'
Labels: yang tersayang
i've been a bad girl.
i've been giving up.
i never gave up during a test.i've been throwing myself to the tired zone.
i've been complaining.
i've been immatured.
i've been surrendering to stress.
it is just not a good sign. this is that part of my life that i rarely talk to those who is sooooo close to me and seek refuge in others. and that's when i find some things are going wrong. terribly.
i cant give up. i cannot give up. i can never give up! no, not now, not ever.
the head's exhausted. the head can't concentrate. it feels heavy and weird.
maybe its the way the treatment's passed around. maybe its the way things are going that's making everything going upside down. i don't know why. i can't explain this but sometimes, you feel like you've just been electric shocked and you're afraid things will go that way again so you wear your rubber boots and get all geared up for the next shock but it never came. it never really existed in the first place. it was all not worth it.
what am i talking about? i have no idea where this is going. i should start studying. wish me luck.
my head hurts.
my body's tired.
my feet's weak.
didn't i say, the last week has been very exhausting? and i'm starting to feel it.
starting the day in the morning and endinngg really late at night is really exhausting.
and i started yesterday really early, at 6.30am, reaching cityhall only to find other sleepers there. what is WRONG with these people. i mean the lions. -_-''''''''
i've bought the cloth for the dance already but i'm afraid the colour's not right...
i need to finish up elearning but i surrendered to sleep the minute i reached home.
note to self:
say no strictly and mean it.
be an hour late unless you feel like a homeless stranger.
don't push only yourself, push another person also.
this week has been hectic.
and shit seh, because of stupid vista i can't take the elearning test. STUPID!!!!!! transportation engg is soooooooooooooo outdated.
monday we had training and it was ok for me. dance was at that coming to an end stage but still crawling. mada treated us b&j ice cream. so niceee. oh, and i was pulled by big enormous devils to head home late. go thing i wasnt scolded. just given a cold treatment.
ade ke setan suruh balek cepat. ape saje ntah. but it was fun. though i was tired. like seriously.
tuesday we had a meeting and then me jeff aizat shamil irsyad epain nisa suz hadis headed for sash's house. boleh katekan semue org shock lah bile jumpe aku. like, jarang giler kan. wanita melayu terakhir. ahchey. so at sash nye rumah kite tgk ganyut sampai habes and the crite was really lame lah. sempat die tapaukan tuk mai zalina jihad adillah seh! haha. kat rumah suz, chocolate cepat abes. den ke rumah jeff den alah, aku da lupe. tapi gerek ah. seriously. and hadis kept taking note that everyone took note of everything too. and den when nad and mada joined, it was like a separated singles and couples trip seh. tapi tetap gerek. the part that started to get groovy was when suzana drove and jihad stayed behind in the car with us. he started grooving to One Two Three Four by Feist. keekkkkeekkk sehhhhh. that was when sash nisa joined in the car with us. wah seyyy takle angkat seh! rumah jihad best lah. stakat naik brape steps jek. haha.
and den i reached home like around 1230 thinking about things to do the next day.
wednesday, we had training but it started out like mendak giler nye seh. stakat satu due org je datang. den after that it got into the mood. jalan raye was ok with family except that when i reached sdare beside abah's, i was commented. haiyyyoooooooo.
die tegur lahhhh....haha. tapi takpe, i keep my cool. chey. and i found out i was going to be the starter for the next day. terkencet aku dibuatnye. sampai rumah cik babah, semue da nak tido. ape saje.
tapi it is ok. aku balek penat giler rabak. pikiran byk sangat.
thursday, jalan raye dgn cubs. wahseyyyy, kecoh mecoh seh! rumah aku first, jadi aku kene lah cepat bgn siapkan makanan. msg shamil kul 10, die BARU BANGON! bile mau amek van??? ape saje. cubs sampai dulu bersame aizat. sorry korg, aku tak angkat tepon. tgh busy lah kan. tapi kesian seh sarah asmida jeff diah naik semue lorong to find my house. da lah aku tak bukak pintu....heheh. k i cannot become the host oredy. den we headed to all the houses and we had all the fun we could get. i was tired by 7 seh. den i took refuge in shamil's car because that car was calmer. wah, tapi si wahidah seriously was looking grand seh! den cocok sanggul semuee. wahhhh....lagi2 meet kat rumah aidil, rumah si wedding planner. wah....haha...tapi rumah aidil cool ah, alot of interesting stuffs...sarah's house too. rumah aizat pun gerek....mane lah korang dapatkan time nak hias rumah ni?!?!? haha...paling kekek bile part jihad tgk si ikan pari makan si ikan emas. mcm tgk bola! haha. and i saw mira's room! i like the colour lahhh...not bad miraa. sampai kat rumah jeff, kite bermaaf-maafan. kekek eh, last house baru nak maaf-maaf. tapi takpe, everything's pretty cool now.
and i rode home with a tired mind thinking about the next day. could hear the van's engine from my void deck seh. imagine the deafening silence. sheesshhh.
i reached home and mom told me the news.
=(
nenek sedare yang aku tanak die pergi telah pergi selame-lamenye. innalillah wa innalillahirojiun.
mari kita sedekahkan surah al fatihah kepadenye. =(
even with sadness, there was still joy and stress.
dance is done with alot of big cracks.
my girls treated me to swensens!!!!! omg. and we had this really wow conversation i thought i would never get to hear. haha. i love you girls!!! thank you so much darlings. you made my day. =))))))