Jot down interesting, memorable events in life
Think things out through words
To avoid the mental burden.





abdillah adillah aidil m. daud ain archi aisyahbi aizat amalina amira asmida cikgu marlina fatimah filzah haddad helfizah idayu ivan izzati junaidah jyssica loy-xing-wen maisarah mei-juan* muhammad nur nadiah s. nadiah z. namira nazif nisa nizal raihanah reyza safiah sarah shakinah suhaila suzana yasmin vanan adawiyah adelina ahny^adi ain angel benjamin bernard darren faizal hanisa hanis syafinaz hilmi hisham hong-sheng joseph kai lin khidir khadijah madarians mariyanah nasri noraisha nosheena ridwan rohanisya salihah saranpal sufyan ting-ting wen-jun xin-yi yanni

Designed by: Ahting


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another piece of me written down....


one whole day at school in the Dance@Moberly room. wowww...from 10am till 7pm....slack giler...slack very slack. reasons? alottt...


since majority of the casts didnt turn up yet at 10, me, nisy and suhaila plus falina joined achap and didi doing aerobics. teacher? Hadis. hahaha. macam disco kat dalam biler kite masok. haha. ok, so we did aerobics. got tired and stuff. haha. blm pape da berpeluh. i really don't know when aizat came, but he came. haha. tau2 je, kite da on the laptop watching the 2003/2005 SYF performance done by other schools. waaaa...their dances were like, SOO NICE. ishh..pastu, nisy, me, aizat, su n sarah went to eat. hahah. aku makan berkecah. ishhh..later, we practice alittle bit and then, we stopped and slack. met asmida n mira at fc5, bought some food and ate outside the room. nizal came while we were eating. then, watched the cd again and achap asked whether we wanted to buy anything anot. i GOT TO RIDE THE BIKE WITH HIM!! hahaha...so cool...hahaahha...haahhahahahahahhah...mak, suke nye aku...we stopped by at the makan shop, achap drank water, we got them their snacks and achap had his meal. went back to school on the bike while it was still raining quite heavily. my pants were drenched and mymy, achap was drenched head to toe. a truck drove over a puddle and it splashed on us! wah lau ehhh....shoes got very wet..but it was fun lahh...i still have to get ready when the light goes green. nearly flew back if it hadnt been for my tight grip on achap's shoulders. kesian sehh...haha...i 'acted' as mat rep 7 which was very bad. and i became the script holder for the day. haha. after that, played a little of the keyboard and then we were off. went to MLS room to put down the instruments and then, we met the rest at FC2. they wanted to shoot the scene but didnt coz it was already too dark. hahahahahahha. nisy got to ride on the bike toooo...FUN KANN!! org da lamer tak naik bike katekannn...so anyway, went to esplanade to give out the flyers which me n nisy didnt do BCOZ we were too malu to approach anyone. the people there look scary lahh...with concepts and stuffs...ishh...o yes! I SAW OSMAN HAMID JOGET!!! and he's like, damn natural lahhh.. PA's dancers are like, so nice...i want to JOIN!! tgh tunggu si idayu n raider but tgk mcm tak menjadi je....pe sehhh...some of the guys were...hot? yaa...lawa sehhh..but they danced like more than one dance and they were panting and perspiring like a fountain. ishh....suhaila shud've been there. =]


had dinner at ljs marina. ljs' service is getting worser and worser by the day. haiqal got pissed at them. and i'm the victim. i pissed him off too. hurhur....


yeayeay!! tmr mj coming home!! yeayeay!! tmr i meet my girls! yeayeay!!
miss them to the max mannnn.....=))


anyone still know the title to the lyrics i put up the other day??



i feel calmer now. i think, a part of me is healed.


When you were young - The Killers
You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it now
Here he comes

He doesnt look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined
When you were young

Can we climb this mountain
I dont know
Higher now than ever before
I know we can make it if we take it slow
Let's take it easy
Easy now
Watch it go

We're burning down the highway skyline
On the back of a hurricane
That started turning
When you were young
When you were young

And sometimes you close your eyes
And see the place where you used to live
When you were young

They say the devil's water
It ain't so sweet
You dont have to drink right now
But you can dip your feet
Every once in a little while

You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it now
Here he comes

He doesnt look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined
When you were young
(talks like a gentleman)
(like you imagined)
When you were young

I said he doesnt look a thing like Jesus
He doesnt look a thing like Jesus
But more than you'll ever know


another piece of me written down....



how ironic it is to start your day good but end it in a not so nice way.

i went to school thinking class starts at 9. hurhur. but good thing i got a teman.


i saw my friend lying down there repeating that it hurts but yet i kept thinking he's lying, he's joking. and i can laugh. wth. something is really wrong with me you know. i laugh when i'm nervous, i laugh when i'm scared. i guess its a natural reaction to relax myself but, its not appropiate. i saw him crying. i thought his type of guy don't cry and is optimistic almost all the time but suddenly i saw weakness. damn. and i just didn't know how to react but by keeping quiet. my mouth just can NOT open you know. there's a stone, no, a ROCK in my throat. i only laugh or keep quiet. ish. lets hope its nothing serious. coz it was meant to be a joke but it turned out wrong. then, the rehersal for the day came to a tension state. scary. =(


sometimes, we've gotta know when it is time to stop, believe what people are saying and not think so much.
something i've not been doing lately.

omygod, i miss my friends.
mj is coming home this sunday. lets go fetch her and lepak. at least i don't have school on that day. NOMORE SCHOOL ON SUNDAYS TILL NEXT YEAR!


i'm not asking my family to come for the production. my mom just condemned it this morning saying that its merepek(rubbish) and full of pekik-pekau(shoutings). like, what the hell. efforts were put in, so doesnt that COUNT? made me so mad coz i've sacrificed most of my free time for it. sometimes, adults have this damn high expectations, they see kids as an insult.


oyes, please, if you can avoid it, not send me a message but call my hp instead. coz i think the bulb in my hp screen broke so i have to use natural light to see the contents.
thanks nisy. time to get myself a new hp.


do anyone know what song has this lyrics? i've been listening to it on my mp3 for more than 10 times. its recorded in my mp3 but i just cannot find what the title is.

...
so get over here, lets grab ourselves another beer
to drink until tomorrow to forget that we're still alive

we're drinking to forget
it will always brings regrets
disillusion faces upon friends that we seldom met

i sound breaking on the inside

i'm sick of making a show
i'm sick of sitting with my hands shut
and fallen on my back end
telling people i'm at home
or that they needed to know

and this song is more
than a self endure antics
and a closure for the times that

well, that's just new

so this one's fond of friends
and i'm so fond of sound
a diss or laughter rec
blindness in a town
you made us feel at home
with you come back from
if you're ever awake there, any day
you'll wake up here alone

paa rap pap pap paa(x 4)


another piece of me written down...



i'm very busy. shit.


everyday, i reach home at around 11pm-12am. and i start school at around 8.

this goes on day by day.

it's push push push nowadays. i don't need pity, i need encouragement.

i nearly breakdown yesterday coz i was too tired and there were projects yet to be done.

my legs are tired, my hands are sore, my brain is dead.

i just want a day of sleep.

haiz.

but i guess with the good company, i'll do fine. =)

anyone wants to go to this production MLS.SSP is having???

nad? dayu? raider? mas?

tell me asap. pleasee.

do you think my family wants to go?

they always go. but this time i dont feel like i want them to come.

haiz.

only 8days more..EIGHT DAYS AND YOU ARE FREE!!! to sleep.

gosh. i need to think of steps. STEPS! STEPS! STEPS!

and i dont even know what is going on at home or with my girls.

sad know, i don't get calls or msges.

stop crying your heart out Faridah! enough of that crybaby!

Face Down - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Hey girl you know you drive me crazy
one look puts the rhythm in my hand.
Still I'll never understand why you hang around
I see what's going down.

Cover up with make up in the mirror
tell yourself it's never gonna happen again
you cry alone and then he swears he loves you.

Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend,
one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down,
a new life she has found.

A pebble in the water makes a ripple
effect every action in this world will bear a consequence
If you wade around forever you will surely drown
I see what's going down.

I see the way you go and say your right again,
say your right again
heed my lecture

Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend,
one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down
a new life she has.

One day she will tell you that she has had enough
its coming round again.
(repeat)

Do you feel like a man, when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend,
one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down,
a new life she has.

Face down in the dirt she says,
this doesn't hurt she says
I finally had enough.. (repeat)


another piece of me written down....

mom and i baked cookies last last night for the fundraising bazaar and i tell you, i think it was a hit. ahahahahhaha. actually, i dont think so. but, i feel good that i've helped out at that bazaar coz, now atleast i know some MLS people. hahaha. sad thing is, i didn't get to see them close. sad ah but i was with the ssp people. wahahah.

and ssp yesterday was quite a fruitful one for me coz people kept bugging me to teach them the dance steps. thanks people! or else i won't start!!! haha..i need to be pushed you see. =) and erm, i talked with aizad about some people i know. at last! i've found someone i can actually talk to about them. it has always been bugging me you know. hahahahaha..

today, i thought i was going out with the girls, but no, then i thought i was going out with jin n jeff n asmida, but no, i thought i was going out with my parents, but no. so i ended up i stayed home. MENDAK!!! as what nizal said. atleast, nizal ended up going out. now, i have to adik-sit my lil brother.

i AM LAZY AND NEVER PUNCTUAL!!!!
i didn't meet my due for elearning,
i didn't meet my due for my gems group elarning assignment,
i didn't meet my due for my OC project which is just to type a speech and send to adel.
heck!! GIRLS! please don't put me as a leader!! pleaseee!! i am not worth it! i didn't do a thing!!!


life is funny you know. i knew you knew it.

isn't it funny, that when u think you've found that special someone with that special something that you were always looking for, that person slips away.

isn't it funny, that when u want to make it up to that someone, the person won't accept anything but a 'sorry'. the person won't let you change what happened.

and isn't it funny, when you've found the person of your dreams, that person don't mean a thing to you. as if there's a barrier between you two.

Everything You Want
Vertical Horizon

Somewhere there's speaking
It's already coming in
Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind
You never could get it
Unless you were fed it
Now you're here and you don't know why

But under skinned knees and the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn
You howl and listen
Listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won't return

[Chorus]
He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why

You're waiting for someone
To put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away
There's always another wound to discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say

[Chorus]

But you'll just sit tight
And watch it unwind
It's only what you're asking for
And you'll be just fine
With all of your time
It's only what you're waiting for

Out of the island
Into the highway
Past the places where you might have turned
You never did notice
But you still hide away
The anger of angels who won't return

[Chorus]

I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
I say all the right things
At exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why
And I don't know why
Why
I don't know


another piece of me written down....


i miss mei juan. :(




have been very busy lately. hadn't have the time to even switch on the comp.


raya-ing with the SSP year ones were fun. but it was kinda tiring seeing we had to walk so far. imagine, jurong to bukit panjang to sembawang to tampines. wow. reached home at about 12.

raya-ing with the ex-mendaki-ans was funny! get to catch up with the people whom i rarely ever meet. it's been a few months already. hahahah. reached home at 1!!! omggg....and its just 4 houses!

raya-ing with the BGSS plus some other people was also funny funny wooooo. haha. manages to cover almost everyone's houses. was kinda early. reached home ard 11+.

all this from the 9th to the 11th. see how exhausted i was. and on the 10th, i had cca also. wow.

on sunday, i went to mj's house! miss that house. haha. helped her pack her bag. and she used my simcard to transfer some stuffs but forgot to put it back. i had to walk to her house so many times, people thought suspicious of me. ish. i didn manage to do a few of my elearning stuffs coz i was LATE! "Folder's Empty". haiz.

then, on monday, i went out at around 11 to meet shak and bought shoes!! yeayy! nomore high-cut for me. and i had INTECH test. damnit.

i had to go to sch on Tuesday for fundraising. did the struct mech elearning at the library on paper. had to figure things out by myself with the help of shak n had to use the hp's calculator to replace my sci-calculator. didn bring it. shittt.

had MS test today and i barely studied. i reached there quite late but i just hentam the qns. well, that's better than on monday where i had to literally click help on microsoft frontpage just to get started, which is like, 1hour after the paper started. what the hell.

funraising bazaar was okay. i dont see many people buying the thing! but somehow, the target's met. how??? i have no idea. hahahah.

i just came home an hour ago? watched flushed away. haha, it was funny. REALLY! and the slugs are CUTE!!!!! i'm ready to watch Happy Feet next!!!

now i have to start on my eNets report mannn. OE is killing me!! the leader is so bossy and i dont know whats up with him! i gotta catch up. sheesh.

see how my days went?! that's why i'm not responding lately. i'm D E A D tired.


another piece of me written down....





this blog is dead. it will be revived when there's a need.


another piece of me written down....




i have no mood to blog.


i have no mood to talk.


and i have no mood whatsoever to chat.


lately, i have stopped expecting.


lately, i have stopped hoping.


another piece of me written down....



"mak, bilang ah pasal faridah dulu-dulu", i said as i sat on my mom's lap.
"mak tak ingat lah..", she replied, turning to my sister.

and i woke up crying.=(


in this dream, me n my sister were saying sorry to each other.



but it breaks my heart.



take a knife and stab me.




if i could, i'd like to get away from people for awhile, and just ruin myself. but, people will think i'm crazy. now that there's a one week break from school, i guess i'll have to find someway to get the pieces back together and pull myself up. easier said then done isn't it.




anyway, enough of that, yesterday i reached home at 1220am. yeay. words from dad, "don't take advantage"...but i called mom alrdy(in a cheery voice)....so she didn't really asked me anything...actually, she didn't ask a thing.....atleast i came home safe and sound....this is the 2nd time i went to Vcity, n this is the 2nd time i reach home at midnight...asek gi vcity je, balek lambat, asek balek lmbt je, gi vcity. we had dinner at the park-like garden over there...just sitting aorund and making jokes...syamNnad joined and we had fun tricking them with brain teasers...like, black/nisya/nizal/wood/hp/cuff/wallet/etc magic, and others ah.....dont buy food at LJ if the line's long. coz the service is damn bad. sheesh. cca was ok. now everyone is addicted to the Stepmania game. syamil commented on me, he said "dekni eh, kalau da bukak mulot, ish..tapi kalau diam, tak layan langsung." or somthing like that.




mak, "lain kali, kalau nak balek lambat, talipon." .
and i did. now i know what time my lambat is. whoppie.


steps for muzikarama still not ready yet! shit.



Pink - Nobody Knows

Nobody knows
Nobody knows but me
That I sometimes cry
If I could pretend that I'm asleep
When my tears start to fall
I peek out from behind these walls
I think nobody knows
Nobody knows no

Nobody likes
Nobody likes to lose their inner voice
The one I used to hear before my life
Made a choice
But I think nobody knows
No no
Nobody knows
No

Baby
Oh the secret's safe with me
There's nowhere else in the world that I could ever be
And baby don't it feel like I'm all alone
Who's gonna be there after the last angel has flown
And I've lost my way back home
I think nobody knows no
I said nobody knows
Nobody cares

It's win or lose not how you play the game
And the road to darkness has a way
Of always knowing my name
But I think nobody knows
No no
Nobody knows no no no no

Baby
Oh the secret's safe with me
There's nowhere else in the world that I could ever be
And baby don't it feel like I'm all alone
Who's gonna be there after the last angel has flown
And I've lost my way back home
And oh no no no no
Nobody knows
No no no no no no

Tomorrow I'll be there my friend
I'll wake up and start all over again
When everybody else is gone
No no no

Nobody knows
Nobody knows the rhythm of my heart
The way I do when I'm lying in the dark
And the world is asleep
I think nobody knows
Nobody knows
Nobody knows but me
me

Nobody knows
Nobody knows but me
That I sometimes cry
If I could pretend that I'm asleep
When my tears start to fall
I peek out from behind these walls
I think nobody knows
Nobody knows no


another piece of me written down....


i was late yesterday, and i'm gonna be late today.

class started at 10 yesterday, and i went out of the house at 10.05. reached class just in time for the last presentation, which only lasted 5mins. waste of energy.


class start at 9 today and its already 8+. what's happening to me? why am i so lazy nowadays?



as the day went by...


i came to clas for 10mins again! tau tak datang siaa....waste of energy...
i keep getting shitty comps to do my project...fuck mann...yesterday i had to go to FIVE comps to sign in. now, TWO. damn it. without earpiece plug tingy some more....haiz....


the rain cloud is over me.



Anak Anak Kita - M. Nasir

Anak-anak kitakah yang berlari telanjang
Di bawah mentari sumbing
Sambil bernyanyi lagu
Ketakutan hari-hari ini

Anak-anak kitakah yang memikul beban
Kesilapan kita
Hingga dia tak kenal
Budaya canggung bangsa sendiri

Selamatkan anak kita
Dari padang jerangkap samar
Selamatkan anak kita
Orde baru politikus usang

Anak-anak kitakah yang bermain
Di hutan belukar
Dengan senapang kayu ubi
Cambah tak kenal bahaya

Anak-anak kitakah yang tak tahu nak pulang
Bila petang kerana terlalu sibuk main lastik
Dan berpistolan
Pistol-pistolan

Jaga-jaga anak kita
Jangan sampai jadi hamba
Jaga-jaga anak kita
Kita ini orang merdeka

Panggillah mereka pulang
Ayah nak ajar
Tentang kurang ajar
Jadi mereka takkan sendiri lagi

Panggillah mereka pulang
Ayah nak ajar
Tentang kurang ajar
Jadi mereka takkan dimomok lagi

Fikir
Selamatkah kita di tangan tukang karut itu
Fikir
Selamatkah kita di tangan dalang wayang itu
Fikir
Selamatkah kita di tangan ahli koporat itu
Fikir
Selamatkah kita di tangan doktor jiwa itu
Fikir
Selamatkah kita di tangan pakar kitab itu
Fikir
Selamatkah kita di tangan tuhan-tuhan itu


another piece of me written down....


another disappointment made,
another shitty feeling felt.


life is, what it is.


i have to say, this is a fact, that everything just sucks. from bad to worst.


what can happen next?

i dont want to know.


another piece of me written down....


i just wanna disappoint every single one of my friends right now. not only them, but including my parents also. i've tried so hard to live up to their expectations and i find it so tiring now. i just cannot be bothered right now. i feel like i don't have time for myself. all i can think about is you you and you. whether what i do will hurt your feelings, whether what i do will make you angry. the more i do that, the more i feel useless cause i cannot live up to my own expectations. i just want to show the real me but of course, in this world i live in, the real me never fits in. i find i've always been lying to myself, saying that it's okay, things will get better, things will not screw up, when the fact is, it just gets worst. so bad, i keep thinking about it every single day. my efforts just seem wasted.


if i disappoint you, please forgive me since i'm not a robot and i'm not an angel.







eversince yesterday, my eyes just weld up easily. i tried so hard to ignore, but it really tires me out. in the end, i'm getting hurt. pass me the dagger and i'll do it myself. i won't even try to burden you.