Allow me to spit.


I am naturally, a quiet person, fun and talkative only when you've known me a little closer, or when I find you not intimidating. Other than that, i'm ok. I guess.


But allow me to express my feelings. Feelings I keep in my heart everytime I feel bullied or ignored.

Lets start.


Allow me to tell you what you've done to/for me.
For ALL my BLOODY years in my life, ALL my elder siblings have either abused me physically or mentally. I chose to study because I saw how my mother really wanted me to NOT be like any of my elder siblings. ALLOW me to say, FOR ALL MY LIFE, I've woken up to nightmares, only my mother know. I shut my mouth and ran the neighbourhood in the middle of the night because I was so angry at ALL OF YOU. All my bloody life, ALL three of you NEVER actually treated me like a sister, but like a slave. Do you remember the time, you HIT ME SO BLOODY HARD just minutes before I needed to go to school, because I DIDN'T IRON YOUR BLOODY SWEATER GOOD ENOUGH?! oh so your job is waaaaaaay important than my school is it? ALL THREE of YOU grew up like as if your parents OWE YOU A LIVING! And only YOU have yet to wake up. 2nd brother and sister has never forgotten to take care of their only dad. While 2nd brother can choose to leave everything to the maid, he chose to take care of dad and leave the housework to her. Sister? The one you disregard because she just didn't think of introducing her husband to you? WHERE WERE YOU WHEN SHE DID INTRODUCE HIM TO US? HOW MANY TIMES DID YOU COME HOME? Please make an effort TO COUNT. She visits him EVEN while she was pregnant, WITH NO PERSONAL TRANSPORT. She comes alone sometimes, even. So tell me, where were you? I may be the littlest, but I watch every detail of everyone's lives. I cannot scold her much because SHE TOOK CARE OF YOUR GRANDPARENTS WHILE YOU CHOSE YOUR FRIENDS. I waited for you, called you to fetch mom & I, after her appointment. AND YOU CHOSE YOUR FRIEND. Allow me to remind you, that was her last waking few weeks. I am so bloody embarrassed to tell our parents how you came home one night, DRUNK. And how, I had to be sushed because you cheated. WHAT kind of a bloody brother are you?! and you still dare to say WHO AM I TO TELL YOU THINGS? WAKE YOUR BLOODY MIND!!

okay, this is just some super minor things of my precious memory of you etched really deeply in my mind because, really, you've never really took care of me or nabil or dad or mom. in fact, i did tell your wife to check on nabil while I was away, but you only called. seriously? oh and when you asked us to pass u the bill downstairs? who are we right to deserve just a minute of your time? oh oh, did i forget, that you chose to trust your friend with your phone which caused you to be bankrupt? ouuhh yes, and this one blow, you chose to stay with your foster(i don't know what you call her) mother when you've got your birth mother, always wondering where you were. She was really sad, you have no idea.

you choose your actions wisely, because like they say, actions speak a whole lot louder than words.

LAIN KALI, MAK ANTA PERGI SKOLA, BLAJA BETULBETUL!

you can always count how much bad things I have done, say I'm never home, but really, how much do you really know about me? how much have you done for your parents? like, seriously. I won't be surprised if you disregard me as a sister too. in fact, i don't even mind.