Monday, September 28, 2009
change. again.
i'm back to faraway jurong. hate it. 1whole hour of mrt travel time.wasted.
everyone is either inviting readers or changing urls or shifting to a different program/web. i'm tempted. but i cant leave mine of 5 years...
selamat hari raya.
i managed to seek forgiveness from my parents this year. couldnt say a word to my mum, said something to dad but stopped, speaked normally to my eldest brother. guess how much i love them?
september's coming to an end..
i still havent buy dayu's present.
can i look forward to mine instead??
my birthday falls on someone's paydayyyy
eh, kakak keje kasi duit raye sehhh..
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY AIZAT. you really have shrunk!
i dread work.
Friday, September 18, 2009
hardyharharhar
the boss has just let us go for the day! yeay!
anyway, heard the news about the m'sia claims. it's very thick-skinned though. and i thought indonesia was making a big fuss out of their claims. food in singapore is definitely better than that in malaysia. don't you think so?
i had a 'Singapore is a food heaven' talk with my family last night and this news came out. talk about coincident. salty mouth salty mouth..coz i said, "Singapore has all these food from other countries, but see, noone makes claims. unlike the indon-malaysia claim. tsk" shouldnt have done that fard...
met asarahmira and jepnizal over at tamp1. F.I.S.H was good. company was really great. we had ice cream and alittle catch up. i miss them lah seh. oh yah, F.I.S.H is from FnCo so that's why its similar just that it has chicken and beef and its halal. yummeh. took some photos but i didnt bring my camera's cable so i cant upload it here. sorry. i cant access fb at work either. dble boo. can't wait to meet them again for raya. OH, and as shared with us her tapak kuda(horse shoe) not for luck but for taste. is a cake, with nutella filled inside. we had New Zealand Naturals ice cream. i melted my chocolate ecstacy and drank it. yummmmm! OH, aizat joined for the night and my god has he SHRUNK. thumbs up aizat!
i gotta clean up my room. Its too messy to be cleaned but i have to do it because people tend to go in my room(prayers and stuff). oh bummer. mom wants to bake another cookie coz she wants to use the cookie cutter that i bought. =) what else...
i've been playing monopoly in the office with Ms Dwarf since the bosses arent here and there nothing to do. if there reallly nothing for me, i may have to go back to my agency.(d'oh!)
gtg now! Selamat Hari Raya!
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
i wish, i wish..
i want this...
and this...
this is too heavy a burden so i wont ask for more. hee....
ok fine, i'll think of less hefty ones..
Monday, September 07, 2009
finally.
and finished game of spider.
i'm getting really bored right now.
2.5hours more and time is moving at the speed of a snail.
at last it changed to 3pm.
OHMYGOD.
anyway, years past.
i've seen changes and i realised how much everyone changed.
especially in my friends.
especially in me.
till now, i still won't get myself a skirt or pants shorter than my leg's length because eversince my mother said no to knee length skirts, i striked it off my list.
eversince she told me she'd cut my head off if i were to have a boyfriend, i never told her about it until swain came along. i think she's fine with him. though i never really told her of him, i think she knows. well, they've met anyway.
i guess once you keep the habit, they'll acknowledge it in a way and nag less. like, smoking.
from being a i-want-to-wear-tudung to a simple tshirt and jeans girl, from a i-want-to-perform-my-responsibilities to a i-can-do-it-later.
i wanted to make sure i keep in contact with all my friends, but i know i'll only contact ones i really cant get off my head. being selective shouldnt be an option.
i know i've changed ever since i bungee jumped into this relationship.
i'm afraid of past feelings when i meet friends i've not met for so long. even if it is a good feeling. because, once that feeling is changed, i would be terrified and almost traumatised to change it back. good feelings usually comes once. happiness never really stays. being lucky only happens once in a blue moon. on the paddle of the wheel, the middle is the easiest to stay on though gravity drags u down.
right. brave yourself fard. you're bored and you want to do this.
......
amin. nothing big. i've gotta stop this.
anyway, i'm super damn bored!
bought a magazine just coz i wanted the free french imported eyeshadow.
do you miss him/her?
do you ever think of him/her?
i read in a magazine, that a guy thinks of his ex everytime he makes out with his gf. is that going to be you?
do you keep comparing him/her to your past him/her?
you know, i stand guilty. i keep wanting swain to be like eedyt, or like josie or like godknowswho. k stop. you are getting greedy.
enough. stop.
stop staring at me
i miss my mom. i hate it that i wasn't home for my birthday a few years back. cos i regret it. she bought the cake that i said i liked from my previous birthday and its now every birthday that she does that. i rarely get cakes from my family and i really regret. everytime i pass by that shop, i think of my birthday and my mom. i can still remember, it was black forest. =(
mom, come home soon please. :(
i tried cooking this morning and it tasted bitter. i told mom about it and she said it was kai lan. i had to put oyster sauce, not udang kering. urgh! my family wont say my food's bad. they just wont eat it. mean.
i need to remember everything i cooked with mom. i dont want to just serve sunnyside ups and nuggets every day. thanks shak for the help! atleast i remembered something in the morning. atleast i could serve something. i want my mom home.
i'm such a crybaby when mom's not home. i can still remember when mom had to go to work when i was small. i'd sit just in front of the gate and cry for mom to come back. i wont budge from the spot eventhough granny tried her best to persuade me to. i'd move when its time for school. i hate it. i'm a mommy's girl.
right now, noone is in the office except me. not going to come tomorrow coz i'm going to fetch mom home.
the past week has been bad. mood swings, backaches, long nights, exhaustion and a heart full of emotions without an outlet. it went all the way till friday till i splurged on a wallet i never thought i'd get. that was how mad i was. build ups. another one with swain.
thanks to it, i even dreamt of this song.
Bitter Heart - Zee Avi
Sun rays come down as seen when they hit the ground,
Children spinning around till they fall down down down.
I wait for you: it's been two hours now,
You're still somewhere in town,
Your dinners getting cold.
I rest my case you are always this late,
And you know how much I hate waiting around 'round 'round,
Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside,
Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide,
Bitter heart, my bitter heart is gettin' just a little fragile,
Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine.
And then you come and tell me the same reason as you did yesterday,
So tell me whats her name.
Doo doo da dum, doo doo da dum, doo doo doo doo doo doo da da dum dum, da da da da dum, da da da da dum, da da da da dum.
Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside
Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide,
Bitter heart, my bitter heart is just getting a little fragile,
Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine.
not only that.
while sleeping in the car waiting for mom from 11 to 4am, i dreamt a familiar dream. i don't know what it meant but i'm afraid its bad. imagine bats on the trees, one fly towards a room, enters the room, transform into a human-like figure with wings. mom says it can mean something bad. especially since i slept in the car under a large tree. its so scary. 2 times. i have to understand dreams. is there any way i can study about dreams?
ouch. papercut. again. hate em badly.