Jot down interesting, memorable events in life
Think things out through words
To avoid the mental burden.





abdillah adillah aidil m. daud ain archi aisyahbi aizat amalina amira asmida cikgu marlina fatimah filzah haddad helfizah idayu ivan izzati junaidah jyssica loy-xing-wen maisarah mei-juan* muhammad nur nadiah s. nadiah z. namira nazif nisa nizal raihanah reyza safiah sarah shakinah suhaila suzana yasmin vanan adawiyah adelina ahny^adi ain angel benjamin bernard darren faizal hanisa hanis syafinaz hilmi hisham hong-sheng joseph kai lin khidir khadijah madarians mariyanah nasri noraisha nosheena ridwan rohanisya salihah saranpal sufyan ting-ting wen-jun xin-yi yanni

Designed by: Ahting


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things will turn topsy turvy soon.
my leg got stuck in between a bicycle peddal and the middle thing and now it hurts like hell.it felt numb and i barely could walk.
my grandad just got warded yesterday.
i feel very tired most of the time.




on a lighter note,
the online entre class was kinda cool. push up bras, porn, money and stuff came up.
elder bro just gave me some money to get some stuffs i've been asking for.
i'm at my cuz' for some relaxation.


another piece of me written down....



There could be fog
Or maybe just a mist
And inexplicably I'll fade to white
Vanish, and be gone

Or it could be night
And I'll be darkly dressed,
Evading easy definition
And as your eye's distracted
By a falling leafI'll merge with restless shadows
And be gone

Then you will discover
What emptiness is

A space so hollow
Even its own walls are swallowed up

A quality of missing
So intense
A lack, a lack

Each hour more bottomless than the last
Until your heart cries out,
A howl of forfeiture

But it will be nothing
Ashen silence where I used to sing
And deafness

The howl must strike the right resonant frequency
A wail that echoes all to the ends of time
To fill the gaping void in whole, looping wavelengths
From the well of your soul, such loneliness
To make Siberian wolves hang heads for shame
In their convivial packs

Then, only then
Might you detect my footprints, indistinct
Marking the morning dew fall

Perhaps glimpse a puff of breathin the cold, dawn air
You must utter
A howl so desolate, it
Jerks you from your sleep
To find me warm beside you on your pillow
And you will know how
Close you were to the brink
Of the abyss

And know what missing is
And hold me.

taken from a blogskin "[FS #12] You broke my heart.. "


another piece of me written down....



hyelo.


i've never been soo exhausted!! yesterday, some weird happened to me..1st i forgot jeffri's name...ya...i was like, "what's ur name ah? Ooh Ooh! ok i know." next was nizal, except he didnt hear me asking that and after that was haiqal...haha! maybe one day, i will forget your names too but within seconds, i'll recall it...talk about STM.


so anyway, i didnt know how the auditions went...so i'll be pretty surprised who the casts are...hmm....o yeah, taking photos in quiet dark lorongs is fun and cool!! haha...its cool u know...but ya lah...u've gotta becareful...yesterday there was this sign saying "No DHumping"...haha.....i like lepak-ing with a group mixed with both genders. there's two sides to everything.


i dont really like to pray at masjid sultan...coz the place to take the wuduk is kinda far from the place and we have to go through the guys place...so its like....i'm out of words...


i need to do my assignment which is due tomorrow but given a month ago. and i dont know how the hell am i suppose to do it. i smoked through that module. 51%. wow. now, how the hell am i gonna do the assignment??



oyeah..I'VE GOT ANOTHER 60 YEAR OLD LECTURER!! whats with my class and sixty year old lecturers mannn?! this time its a women. for OC. and she has a monkey daughter. literally. a 14 year old monkey daughter. seriously, i thought she was like describing her daughter's behaviour or something but nooo...the next thing i knew, she was handing us a stack of photographs of her monkey daughter and telling her story of how she came to take care of the animal. her advice: Never pick up any WILD animals while jogging at a nature reserve or etc. i'm like, HAHA! i had to do a presentation on myself on why i thought i was special. the only thing was that, i had jap blood in me but...ya...thats all...n of course about my little brother butt the jap part was much interesting. HAHA! oh my.


another piece of me written down....


"Human beings are liars. Who, contrary to popular belief, lie more to themselves than do to other people."
quoted from the book, "Her" by Laura Zigman.


another piece of me written down....



hyelo!


skipping rope is fun. :)


anyway, INTECH is boring, BTM has gone from interesting to dead sleepy boring, SM has gone to boring-to-the-max-that-you-just-have-to-pay-attention-but-still-do-not-understand-a-single-thing. lets see how tomorrow's CAD goes. after school, i went to see the auditions at the multi purpose room above FC5. at first, i thot no one would come, but as the clock struck 5, so many people came that the 'waiting room' was packed! oklah, i'm exaggerating. but atleast some people didnt let the cca down. we had a 'bonding' session while the auditions took place.

shamil: eh! ape name bapak kau??
jeffri: ade lah...ok, bapak kaunye name ape?
nadhirah told him their fathers' names but instead jeff asked for everyone's fathers' names instead. then, when it came to nadiah's.
nadiah: sapiuna(i think)
jeff: ape?
nadiah laughs. everyone laughed. and she repeats.
nadhirah: are you mix???
nadiah: ya
everyone goes surprised. and someone asks what race her father was
nadiah: spanish..
shamil: REALLY?!
nadiah nods.
nadiah: mak aku cina + something(i forgot), bapak aku spanish.
nadhirah: oh wow!! i'm a spanish fan
suhaila: wahhh...really?!
nadhirah: den u can speak spanish?
asmida: boleh2!! die slalu bebual spanish kat aku tapi aku tak paham.
jeff: wahhh...ni da kalah aku ni!
everyone laughs.
shamil: eh eh..cakap spanish skit!
nadiah keeps laughing..
jeff: aku pon boleh ckp spanish....
shamil: k, ape?
jeff: spanish.
everyone laughs. back to nadiah..
jeff: kkk, kau pulak ckp.
nadiah: spanish.
everyone laughs. hahah!!
jeff: lerrr...aku pikir kan die betol2 boleh ckp spanish...
shamil: kau betol kau spanish?!
nadiah: e'eh, percaye seh...hhahah!
jeff: lerrr.....tu ah...aku pon bukan thai...
shamil: -menyampok- betol?!
jeff: abe percaye...haha!
then, they went back to the 1st qn...
nadhirah: eh! whats ur father's name??
jeff says his dad's name but barely anyone caught it...haha! well, i didnt..thats for sure.


okay. what a conversation.

haha! den, we told jokes..laughed out loud and then we went home. at home, i watched this music video..


Artist: KRU
Title: Gerenti Beres

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOx9Shg7qq4

Mengantuk dah dengar ku cinta padamu
Bermodal kata manis mulut
Oh..abang itu tak cukup

Jikalau kau mahu ku diserang angau
Harus kibarkanlah sedikit
Kipas berdaun wang ringgit

Usah susah-payah panjang lebar celoteh
Kerana diri ini dah letih
Mendengar janji setinggi langit

Sedangkan pada mulanya saja beriya
Nanti dah jemu aku dibiar bingung kecewa
Bukan terlalu memilih
Dalam mencari kekasih
Cuma adat lelaki mereka pergi mencari lain

Sekurang-kurangnya nanti
Punya hasil baru ku puas hati
Kau perlu buktikan dulu
Baru cintaku…
Gerenti beres..

Setampan Salman Khan pun aku tak hairan
Kau tak akan punya peluang
Jika akaun bank kering-kontang

Andainya ada hati nak temu janji
Pastikan hotel bintang lima
Bukan warung kaki lima

Ramai dah gagal berbuah tangankan mawar
Itupun setahun sekali
Hanya pada hari kekasih

Mataku hanya akan silau kilauan permata
Selepas itu barulah diriku engkau empunya
Bukan terlalu memilih
Dalam mencari kekasih
Cuma adat lelaki mereka pergi mencari lain

Sekurang-kurangnya nanti
Punya hasil baru ku puas hati
Kau perlu buktikan dulu
Baru cintaku…
Gerenti beres..

Ketika ditemuduga seluruh kerabat keluarga
Katakan kau seorang doktor, majistret atau lawyer
Ahli muzik tak main, satu sen pun tak laku
Jika diriku yang kau mahu
Pastikan rombongan dipenuhi hantaran
Dengan sebiji Ferrari merah, barulah kau nampak gah
Muka selipar jepun pun boleh jadi lawa
Kau buatku jatuh cinta

Bukan terlalu memilih
Dalam mencari kekasih
Cuma adat lelaki mereka pergi mencari lain


another piece of me written down....



macam-macam aznil is a cute program to watch! haha.



terserempak nad n mena on d way yesterday. what mena told me really corrupted my mind. ewrgh...
i've watched john tucker mesti mati. hahahahahhaahahhahahha. humour.
lately i've helps shak with her busy schedule. [awwww. what a good frienddd. -rolls eyes-]
heheheheh.
and d 1st day of fasting is just d same. d 1st qn hidahny asked was "just now, u sahur ape ah?" like, what the...dats what al-hafiz asked d ustaza also...and shucks, my favourite ustaza isnt teaching anymore!!! so sad. d new ustazah is kinda boring. now i like the 2 ustazah i used to not like and good thing there isnt break anymore coz d day just goes on and on....

ergh. my printer was being a crap just now!

and tmr i'll be breaking fast at my cousin's!

school starts tmr!!

and i hvnt even packed!

i can't wait!


another piece of me written down....



went to sch today for a meeting abt muzikarama....and i must say, the script is pretty funny crappy and d storyline is pretty out of your imagination. hahahah. had a nice time laughing and its nice meeting them again...haha...had a loong story telling session by efin just now abt it..haha! hey! those from SP and are malay speaking, join in the audition!! its on this tuesday and thursday!! =))))
hahaha!! it'll be fun!!! everything will pay off!! =)))




eh, nice anot?? hehehehe



another piece of me written down....



this week has been abit hectic....i think...not hectic as in busy but i thot i didnt have anyting on for the week but things just start popping up.....

idayu has gotten herself a nice mp4 and a sweater and raider has gotten herself a baju kebaya which she had to alter to fit her even though it was the smallest size...imagine how slim she is....omg....nad has gotten herself what she always wanted....not a good thing tho, but at least, things are explained slightly.....and i've gotten myself some sickness...flu/fever...heck i duno what it is....all this on tuesday.


then, i had to register for my GEMS module...went to school and had lunch there...it was kinda refreshing....it maybe the last time i eat at school for a long time...so, ya...it was kinda nice....and fyi, i'm taking the online entrepenuership module....due to shaks fast fingers, she got the customer service module...chitchitchit....after that, i accompanied her to popular to choose some papers....alot of choices, but we just didnt know what the senior actually wanted....haha...then, shak went off and i was with salman, adam n amal...we headed to bugis and plaza sing and far east...to find adam's friend a present...i never knew looking for a present was that tough for him...haha....but i can tell his mind is more [oh shit, i lost the word...]........erm, nvrmind...he was thinking of this girl...we saw her at bugis...hah hah....lepak awhile and went home....all this on wednesday...


todays thursday....n i did nothing except watch a few dvds....had to accomodate to my lil bro's needs...i didnt go my granny's....
and and and....i forgot ALL ABOUT SHAK'S PICS!!! she gave it to me in june....i think...and i forgot ALL about it until she reminded me TODAY! omg......panic attack! coz i duno whr is it...omg...i'm sooo irresponsible!!!


this song reminds me of two people...as u can see, it reminds me of Jane[bgss] and Benjamin[sp].


Artist : Breaking Benjamin
Title : The Diary Of Jane

If I had to
I would put myself right beside you
So let me ask
Would you like that?
Would you like that?

And I don't mind
If you say this love is the last time
So now I'll ask
Do you like that?
Do you like that?

No

Something's getting in the way
Something's just about to break
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane
So tell me how it should be

Try to find out what makes you tick
As I lie down
Sore and sick
Do you like that?
Do you like that?

There's a fine line between love and hate
And I don't mind
Just let me say that I like that
I like that

Something's getting in the way
Something's just about to break
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane
As I burn another page
As I look the other way
I still try to find my place in the diary of Jane
So tell me how it should be

Desperate, I will crawl
Waiting for so long
No love, there is no love
Die for anyone
What have I become

Something's getting in the way
Something's just about to break
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane
As I burn another page
As I look the other way
I still try to find my place
In the diary of Jane


another piece of me written down....



I MISS RAI n WEN JUN n MEI JUAN n HANNA!!


hahaha!


having a feast and just talking about the gool ol' days and hanging out at the playground is just fun with them! i nvr knew just hving a third of the roti john king and a prata n a piece of murtabak can make me so full...and taking photos at the playground is fun...walking from simpang to home is also veryyy near...i wan to eat dinner and walk home again...hehehh..


i've just checked my timetable and i must say....its veryyy slack!
monday(as usual) - 8am to 5pm (this time with 2 hours of break)
tuesday- 1pm to 4pm
wednesday- 8am to 11am
thursday- 10am to 5pm(with 3 hours of break!)
friday- 9am to 11am

i have yet to have any classes on saturdays...but i think this timetable will change with GEMS...so....yeay....hopefully none clashes.


another piece of me written down....


yeayy...i slept at 6am yesterday....harhar!!! and woke up around 2.35pm....what more with d raining environment....haha!! should i sleep today? confirm will sleep lah..but should i sleep earlier or later....hmmmm.......haha!


went to visit idayu....she's got iron deficiency.....so many presents seh she got...so lucky...hahaha..so anyway,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IDAYU DARLING!!!
YOU MUST GET WELL VERY SOON OKAY!!! GO GET YOUR MP3 AND STUFF!! WE MISS YOU ON MSN!!! LOVE YOU TO THE MAX DARL!!



last night, i chatted with mat nor, shak's fren...and wth...he played tic-tac-toe and checkers with me siaaa....and of course i lose lah...apperently, he likes to purposely let me win...hurhur..


now, i'm playing hexic n checkers with salman. hahah! its gonna be a disease....
and he says d song i put up is irritating...harhar! yeayyy..



sleeping late is fun!


another piece of me written down....



is having more or less good?






ok. i'll stop blogging.


Bittersweet Symphony Lyrics
by The Verve

'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life
Try to make ends meet
You're a slave to money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places
where all the veins meet yeah,

No change, I can change
I can change, I can change
But I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold
But I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, no

Well I never pray
But tonight I'm on my knees yeah
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now
But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now

No change, I can change
I can change, I can change
But I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold
And I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, no
I can't change
I can't change

'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life
Try to make ends meet
Try to find some money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places
where all the things meet yeah

You know I can change, I can change
I can change, I can change
But I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold
And I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, no

I can't change my mold
no, no, no, no, no,
I can't change
Can't change my body,
no, no, no

I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
Been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
Have you ever been down?
Have you've ever been down?


another piece of me written down....



i went to apply for a job at wisma and i hope i get it...the ppl there seem pretty friendly..heheh...thanks ivan! =))


i went to visit idayu and i was the 1st to come...talked and shared stuffs with her and later with raider, mas n nadee....its nice to just talk with them....idayu's anak sedare is very cute and his laughter is like a literal 'HAHAHAHAHAH'....give him any qn and that's his reply...salman seems verryyyy friendly with kids...haha....amal keeps getting hit by the lil kid...adam n zaidi just sat aside looking at the kid...idayu's mom and sis are kinda friendly...1st time jumper...haha...


nadee and all of us talked about what we like and what we don't like...well, i have my list..
don't ask me 'what's wrong?', 'are you okay?' or 'how are you?' coz i will just answer it with 'i'm fine', 'i'm okay' or 'it's nothing'.


anyway, i checked my results! and i gave a loud HAAHAAHAA the second i saw it...i passed.
alhamdulillah. =)




problems aren't a thing of mine. and i hate it. but sometimes, i don't talk about it coz of certain reasons which of course i wont be telling. i have a way to let it out. just don't fuss over it. if i can talk about it, i will. if not, i wont. that's my nature.


another piece of me written down....




sometimes, when u go back to your childhood places, u'll tend to do the things u used to do when u were a kid....i did that today. i watched my steps, literally. i stepped on every one or two tiles and look directly at my foot. people think i've got a problem stuck in my head, but actually, i wasn't thinking at all.




so anyway, today i went to the Zoo! yeahhh....i still remember the times back then that i went there when i was in primary school. i went there a few times and it seemed i went there too much that i just stopped going there. we really had childhood fun during primary school and friends fun during sec sch dont we? now its like either the thing we're doing called lame or childish. people now think they are too matured for themselves.


oyah, back to the trip. met everyone at around after 1030am. janji melayu katekan.. met salman 1st den faris den farah(who missed a bustop making us walk to the next bustop to meet her) den adam(who woke up at 1005am right after salman called and wake him)...we took bus 24 to ang mo kio and 138 to the Zoo. literally, the sign for that bus puts Zoo as the last destination. hahah..salman told me about the book he read recently...it took from taking bus 24 to taking bus 138..damn long story! i think i still dont understand it thou...some cat killer and some 50 year old lady becoming a 15 year old ghost and..ahahah...so anyway, we had lunch at the kfc there...well, they had lunch..i didnt...kinda funny lah how adam told his childhood stories and also how d start of the talk turned out to be something about animals...while we were talking, secrets were exposed..adam hates spiders due to one which jumped onto his face when he was little and faris hates snakes due to one time he had to touch them and he just freak out. well well well...so we made our way towards the zoo...walked thru this photography walkway..and we saw one black monkey...and a few fishes...not much animals..so den we walk walk walk and saw other animals lah...i think the white tiger...very nice...hahah...after that we walked towards other animals which i can't rmbr where.....i guess if you were to look through the pics, u'll get the rough idea whr we went next and stuff...but the place i can remember very vividly is when we were at the snakes area...faris totally freaked out! i mean, yes, u are scared but u don't have to be scared of something in the display since, ya..there may be not much ways for it to come out and jump onto you...face your fears man...everytime we walked through the reptiles garden, he'll freak...adam on the other hand is like panicked by the littlest sight of spider webs...but here and there, he got used to seeing it..so...ya....i was freaked by jumping squirrels lah....sheesh...i was pointing2 and it just jumped! i kinda screamed...hahah....we were abit lost when we tried to find our way out but, there's no way to get lost when there's a map and we're in singapore. hahah.

went to marina sq after that to eat and later to esplanade and the merlion....damn shit lah go to the merlion...everyone was having a good time no doubt....yeap...it's just my memories lah....den we walked to city hall mrt...and there's where i did my childish thing...



after that, my mood swung. actually before that it already swung hilltop.


tmr i must find meself a job. and i MUST go visit darling idayu. i wonder how is she doing...


another piece of me written down....


wah...gerekz....my msn isn't working...well, it is actually but i can't bloodyhell get thru its connection...damn....


even more gerekz is that my home phone has a technical problem. u can call through, but i wont be able to hear the phone ringing(coz it wont ring) and i can't use it coz there's no dial tone. means the phone is alright, but the line is cocked up...and i dont mean we didn't pay our bill.


fuckfuckfuck.

can life get any better?!


another piece of me written down....



BEWARE: HORSE CROSSING ROAD.

haha...that's what my family saw yesterday. and the horse was pretty good at crossing the road..it allowed the other cars to move on first before it crosses...

then, there was a spider at my kampong house. it was kind of big. but my dad din shoo it out...it may build a house somewhere...who knows..

next, there were red ants. they were on top of each other and they look pretty mean. an army attacking the rotting durians.

after that there was a squirrel..it was camouflaged by the grass..cool...

later, there were cats.. one was standing inside something with its head stuck out the opening. looked as though its body was made of the mat...haha.

soon, there were dogs.. the uncle hit one with his car..sheeshhh...

the kampong. what else do you expect?

i'm swinging right now, so i wont blog more.


another piece of me written down....


hyelo.



err, ya.


okeh. looking at how bad i've been rotting(or decomposing) in this unkempt house, i decided today i should go out and follow my parents to fetch my lil brother to sch, which he doesnt have coz it's still the school holidays[i told them so many times about it but my words flew right out the window]. so instead, we went to Isetan TM to buy some of my dad/lil bro's clothes. dad sent the car for fixing...something wrong with his window's motor or something. lil bro is so very irritating when in the mall. he refuses to follow me and heads straight to the kid's department for toys. when will he change? oh, he has..now he has his own choices of clothes..[talk about changes] so after that, me, mom and lil bro had lunch and went to paya lebar to meet dad. i can't say he's happy coz his car's fix or coz he's happy to see us but there was a bigg smile on his face and that cheery voice when he talked, so..ya, he was happy..we went home after that.



there goes another day.





right. another day gone, another day to come. ending just like that, i'm sure i can do something useful for once.


DAD: oooh, agaknye sebab die suke makan sotong sebab tu die jadi gitu - gay.
[translation - maybe because he likes to eat calamari thats why he became that way - gay]

me and mom were shocked to hear such comments. and what more, mom cooked squid today.

haha!

For your info:
Cockroach that can fly are actually pregnant.According to the documentary film, their ability to fly stem from a survival instincts to protect their eggs while incubating. So its a natural progression of their ability when a female cockroach gets pregnant. So when you do see a flying cockroach, be sure to send it flying to heaven before it spills its evil spawns out!!! To totally eliminate their race, after killing the pregnant cockroach, use alcohol to burn it, so as to totally wipe out the eggs ( remember the movie Aliens, where Sigourney Weaver burns the eggs?? ) thats the only way to totally kill out these roaches. Do not attempt to flush the dead cockroach down the toilet without burning it or totally squashing it! The eggs will still hatch and climb out to spread their evil around and you'll have more to deal with in time. Also, do not use insecticide on the pregnant cockroach cos it will only help the eggs to develop resistance against the insecticide in future.





another piece of me written down....


just watched "Sepet" just now.....


i looking for the show "Gubra"....no where to be found...hurhur...



anyway, dad wanted me to take a photo of the eclipse last night...but too bad, i didnt. HAH! i looked at the sky at 1+am but i barely could see the moon. it was directly above my block! but mom saw it...well, not the eclipse but the environment..it was extra bright on school area but extra dark on the other side..oooo....haha. and she didnt alert me, so, too bad. haiz..such a waste!


alright, what to do next?









susah seh nak chat dgn orang yang da give up everything dalam hidup die..skit2 cakap pasal nak mati, sikit2 cakap pasal maut. amalan da banyak sangat kot sampai nak cepat2 mati. ish..


i need to get out of this house.











asshole.


another piece of me written down....



I've got a few paragraphs/sentences I want to remember from the book I last read.
Maybe they can tell me alittle bit more about me.


title: If Andy Warhol Had a Girlfriend
author: Alison Pace.



I could see her - a miniature version of myself sitting inside my head, in a miniature version of Central Park. She was sitting on a bench, completely along, holding a candle, waiting patiently for all of the dreams about a future with Jack to come true. As I shut down my computer and left the gallery that night, the miniature person finally stood up from that bench and blew out her candle.


I hate when people put things on your chair. Like you are really going to miss it if it is put on your desk?


My toothbrush felt heavy; when I washed my face, the soap felt like cement.


I was a junkie. I was a homeless person.


It didn't help; nothing could stop me from believing that I might very well spend the remainder of my days much the same way as I'd spent so many days before: kissing the wrong guy.


What I had meant was I hoped I would run into a friend of Jack's one day, with a really gorgeous guy standing right next to me.


I tried to tell myself that it didn't matter that it was one date, one night. That to care too much about a person who was pratically a stranger was stupid, would make me a desperate woman clinging to false promises, a woman I'd never, not in a gazillion years, want to be.


On the way home, it occurred to me that maybe this all felt worse than it should because not having felt this way in a while, I had forgotten how bad it could be. I had forgotten this feeling, this feeling that nothing is good, that everything that seems just fine actually isn't. That really, everything sucks.


The longer I stood there, the closer I got to changing my mind about Ian and me not being meant to be. Maybe we were. Myabe just not now, I thought, as I crossed the street and began walking east, toward my apartment. Maybe later.

It was clear to me then that when someone who seemed godlike suddenly turns out to be human, it isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes, I realized, it just makes you love them more.


As I packed up sculptures and prepared for our return to New York, I thought it would be okay if I never told him how I felt. Just knowing that I loved him was enough.

This is by Andy Warhol.

I'm the the type who'd be happy not going anywhere as long as I was sure I knew exactly what was happening at the places I wasn't going to. I'm the type who'd like to sit home and watch every party that I'm invited to on a monitor in my bedroom.


Machines have less problems. I'd like to be a machine.


What makes a person spend time being sad when they could be happy?


another piece of me written down....



walk away ALREADY!
MOVE on.
forget about them!






argh.
stupid stupid stupid. what date is it today??


reached home and mom asked me whether i've visited my granny. i said no and she answered in a very sarcastic manner "biler da masok kubur baru nak tengok kan?"[translation: when she's in the cementery, then you'll visit her isn't it?]....like, what the hell! she didn't make me feel welcomed...i'm not home sweet home...suck suck suck! i rather stay at my cousin's than come to this unwelcomed house...it isn't a home...urgh. i hate it when people are being veryyy sarcastic, as in sarcastic to hurt, not to joke..bloody toot.


haiz.


NOTICE:
i have not paid my bills. therefore, i cannot reply your messages or give you a call.
so if i were to get lost, in danger, having a problem, whatsoever, i will handle it on my own...being 'independent' ...HAH! but if you need anything from me, you can give me a call, only calls, and make sure i answer.


okeh. thet's it.






i don't have my mood to talk. fuck me.


another piece of me written down....

kay........


what is this feeling i'm having?


k shut up.


another piece of me written down....



due to the request of some people, i shall update my past few boring daysss...if u really want to read thou..



erm...wait, what did i do for the last few days???


lets just update on the memorable few..

erm, i can't remember what day, i visited didi, my vice chairperson of ssp...
i was....-flashback-OHOH! it was a friday....or isit? so anyway, on that day, i did't go run at the stadium with dayu, nad n raider...OYAH! the day before was teacher's day eve....OKAY! see how my memory is recovering?


lemme restart......
31/8/06
nad woke up late, mj called saying she would be meeting us, and i was late meeting him. actually, i took my own sweet time knowing it was raining and all...i really really wanted to go back to bed BUT i didnt...fuhh....so anyway, met him and waited for darling dearest nad while promising mj i would take the next bus that arrived (which i didnt)...it was sooo nice meeting mj again after a very damn long time! we ran and hugged each other like lost loverss..haha! so anyway, walked to school from blk 110.....almost everyone wore black..hmmm....well, 1st we saw mr azahar....still lame as always..saw some other tchers and friends...the ambiance was sooo nice...i miss that school mannn....really really....while i was there, i was actually looking forward to meeting mdm marlina...haha...alah, the other tchers werent that excited to see me anyway....hai....so anyway, didnt really watch the lower sec concert neither did i really watch the upper sec concert....after duno who's performance ah, i went off....due to some last min errands and an awaiting interview....ran my errand...ate my lunch and walked to bedok int.....met shak, as and diah...almost everyone was feeling scared but the interview wasnt an interview..it was more of a job scope...harhar....i dont think i can get it...looks like i wont get it anywayy...after that we went window shoppingg...i want those loong tshirts from zara...haha...met dear and got him belt...hmmm...nice....

we should go eat at cahaya again!! miss that place.


1/9/06
i didn go run with nad, dayu n weder....due to the fact that i was tired and lazy and still sleepy. haha. soi lazed around the whole day and after i got hilmi's msg then i decided, i should go visit didi, ssp's vice chairperson, who got hospitalised due to haemoglobin[?] illness...i thought i was going alone...urgh, i felt i was alone coz hilmi said he was late and whoever else and i didnt know who were going either....so anyway, GOOD thing mai n adilah n afiq saw a pathetic girl in blue sitting on the floor reading a book by herself...harhar...den, later arif and rahman and aizad joined in...den they go eat at delifrance...nizal and jeffri joined in and after that we headed to 7-11 to get some buah tgn for didi...we had like a cafe at 7-11 lahh...everyone buying their food and eating at the very small round table...aiyoo....when we arrived at didi's bed, only nazif was there....talked and joked...den we were shoo-ed...too many people lah...while we were heading out, the nurhayat people came(hilmi and cca subgrp members)....hahaha...we sat at the visitor's room ah...den ihad and gang arrived....so we were like, hogging the whole roomm..haha!! it was so funny! klah, den didi was requested to go to bed...kesian seh...i followed nizal, jef, dips, zee to bugis...so did efin, jihad, acap and whoeverelse i forget.....but it was funn lah...we window shopped...and den had drinks after that, went home..i took 12...haahaaaa...wat a day.

2/9/06
i cant rmbr what i did...so i must have slept home all day....or did i?

3/9/06
madrasah was okayyy..time flew damn fast...den later i went to khairiah's hse to help khidir with his blog project....haha...so funn..watched The Magicians Of Love on youtube.com all thanx to khai...den go home.

4/9/06
went to johor with khairiah n family...i thought it was a typical day at johor whereby i barely had anything to do but sit in the vehicle but NOOO...we went SHOPPING! hahahah...so fun and damn tiringgggg..-helppp! she's poking me!!- so anywayy, took CW1.....ate roti prata..i had to force down some seyy...they all cudnt finishh....i was dman full lahh...walked and walked...cik noor wanted to buy me something but i said no...so she said i must get a pair of raya shoe and a shirt....harharhar....khairah got herself a shirt, khidir got himself 2 pair of jeans and a shirt, me got meself a pair of pointy heels and a tshirt...katijah, a shirt, cik noor got herself a pair of shoe/sandals and cik anjang got himself a pair of scholls......heh.....and that doesn count in the number of foodstuff we've consumed and got for ourselves for the night...i was full the whole day okay! but i was still being forced to eat...harhar!! from citysquare to angsana to kotaraya..i never at all went to these few all in one day coz usually i go kampong....get the fruits....on the way home, khai told me about th show...and it was niceee...i think its kinda the typical cheena show ah...but nice...so people, go watch! ahahahahha......see! she's promoting the show..she says the guys there are shy and goodlooking...so people! go watch!!


klahhhhhh...
had enough?
i bet u did..
so till here,
BUBIE!!!



shitman! i didn get the call. so no job....URGHHHH.