Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion 53% Stability 50% Orderliness 43% Empathy 50% Interdependence 56% Intellectual 36% Mystical 43% Artistic 50% Religious 63% Hedonism 30% Materialism 50% Narcissism 36% Adventurousness 43% Work ethic 43% Self absorbed 43% Conflict seeking 50% Need to dominate 36% Romantic 36% Avoidant 50% Anti-authority 50% Wealth 30% Dependency 50% Change averse 43% Cautiousness 50% Individuality 63% Sexuality 43% Peter pan complex 43% Physical security 56% Food indulgent 36% Histrionic 36% Paranoia 50% Vanity 43% Hypersensitivity 36% Female cliche 50%

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another piece of me written down....

i hate stuck up arrogant rich freaks...they are just so....arrogant...erghhh...ewww...d sight of them disgusts me...yuck!

anyway, today i didnt go mendaki...laze around at home, slacked really bad..need to start studying!! rarr...ate so many junk foods today...ergh.....fatty fatty fat fat.....anyway, yesterday was great actually...not that great...but it was our/my last performance...hopefully....made a few wrong steps but i don't think the audiences saw it...did you? hahax....u don't even know the step...i'm a bitchy teenager...got that?! yes....everything went on smoothly...we slacked very much alot....i DIDNT get to bring back my glow stickkkk!! suck arhhh....ah, shit...d finale was ok...but thx to mrs song, we had to stay, in front of the guests just to take photos.......bloody suck up...erm...we packed up at a very slow rate.....went home...talked to nad....heehee....stuck ups....hurh..bought myself dinner but i slept only to be awaken by my mom who touched my hand while sleeping..erm??? heheh...ate a little, lie down, fell asleep...woke myself up, ate sumore, watch tv then fell asleep again!! when i woke up, my mom cleaned up the food already!! woww....haizzz.....aiyoooo......watched tv, only to be sleeping again!...slept till today....so u can see that i was damn tired....but 1 thing that disturbs me...y students don't want to go for the speech day yesterday...i mean, u've gotta be proud of ur friends up stage right? won't u want to watch ur friends up stage? i'm disappointed when they said, "aiyaa, today still must go for the speech day ting...so lazy.." its ur last year lor....if u don't go now, u wont be going for it anymore....if u all don't go, then we perform for who sia....its like, u going for any formal concert, you wont be able to move around...i just don't get it...maybe bcoz i'm on stage performing....but if u really want to know how tiring it is to perform, i dare ya to go for it...


another piece of me written down....

gosh...i feel like crying....bloody tooot....i vow not to be in a relationship this year....i hate boys now...they're just too egoistic...haiz.....let me feel this place with dots...........................................................................................................................................................
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.................................................................oh god...what am i thinking now? ergh....help me expand this frustrations...i've moved on and ignored, but there's something missing...what is it? tell me...where's all the care and concern that was once shown? yes, i'm a bitch...a bloody fucked up bitch with a serious attitude problem...ergh....its a room with closed doors for me....but i don't want it to be all closed....it's scary..its too dark...i can't see....eesh...i'm being dramatic...truthfully saying, i want to talk to two people right now....two ppl whom i've not talked two since something happened....ya, i'm a bitch...and i'm repeating it...gosh...i want to talk to yanis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but he's not one of the two guys.....i....just need a short call, get everything straight and feeling better after that...its not fun to think on and on about y and all...........i don't want to have 2nd thoughts anymore...maybe one dya, when i give u a call..pls pick it up. please.


another piece of me written down....

this is interesting.....

Crazy Language -http://home.planet.nl/~blade068/languagefun/

Let’s face it: English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England or french fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted.
But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham?
Is cheese the plural of choose?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through the annals of history but not a single annal?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?(hmm?)
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
When a house burns up, it burns down.
You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?
Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent?
Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown?
Met a sung hero or experienced requited love?
Have you ever run into someone who was discombobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable?
And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?Now I know why I flunked my English. It’s not my fault; the silly language doesn’t quite know whether it’s coming or going.

this is damn interesting, don't you think? this makes me think....hmm...if english is crazy, then, what will others be? hmm.......


another piece of me written down....

Mungkin Nanti- Peter Pan

Saatnya ku berkata mungkin yang terakhir kalinya
Sudahlah lepaskan semua kuyakin inilah waktunya
Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi

Dan mungkin bila nanti kita kan bertemu lagi
Satu pintaku jangan kau coba tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang kutinggal mati
Seperti hari kemarin saat semua disini

Dan bila hatimu termenung bangun dari mimpi2mu
Membuka hatimu yang dulu cerita saat bersamaku
Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi

Dan mungkin bila nanti kita kan bertemu lagi
Satu pintaku jangan kau coba tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang kutinggal mati
Seperti hari kemarin saat semua disini

Tak usah kau tanyakan lagi simpan untukmu sendiri
Semua sesal yang kau cari semua rasa yang kau beri

love this song...so nice...

damn yesterday's rain, today me n sor woke up feeling dizzy...i went to sch but went home at 9.45am coz i cudnt stand d pain...sor just woke up....everything was spinning around...gosh..mom fetched me home of coz...my dad was working...she told me that the normal rain won't make u feel dizzy, its d rain with thunder n lightning or sunshine that will make you feel dizzy...well...hm...maybe thats true...the ppl last time said that these kind of rain got setan in them but nowadays ppl say got some chemical aka acid rain...hmm...had my breakfast then went home...reached home and teased my bro awhile, my 2nd bro that is....then he accused that i was making it up, making up that i was sick...hey! i took 2 pills WHICH fyi, didnt work at all!!!!!!!!!!!! bloody toot...slept till 4....love that sleep....hmmm....if this gets worst, i'll have to go to the hospital........................................................................freak!!!!!!!!! maybe i wont come tmr....shitshitshititititiititititititititti........erghhh.....watched spongebob...thx dayu for the cd...it was of good quality...not excellent but good....hahaz....anyway....now, maybe, my family would be going out for dinner...yeay.....gotta go now...bye...take care..


another piece of me written down....

i find it so troublesome.....now i need to borrow the tys from weder....thanx to her i can have my hw done, andd thanx to HIM, i'm tysless and have to be such a nuisance to others....i can't believe how he can go on with life with no guilt feeling...but hey, i'm not him...so y must i judge? haiz....gosh i need it badly...hmph.....about 6 months till olevel....around less than a month to MT olevel...how am i gonna go on?? mum just reminded me about it just now...to start studying now...wow....pressure..pressure...pressure...she asked whether i could pass my subjects or not...now, that bitchy sister of mine is going berserk....help!! i need help!! now, i'm scanning pgs out of weder's tys....its gonna be very ugly...oh god, my sister sucks! help me...i need help....she's screaming the hell out of me....ergh...ergh....bloody fucker......woops! sorry....now, i have to start on hw....no MC!! how?! shit shit shit....bloody shit.....i'm gonna get a zero for m test...freak freak freak!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that shall be all for today.....haiz...n thanx sorida! for making my day yesterday....needed some time off from the pressure....crazy ppl....conservative parents.....condemned friends....haiz....its all a waste of time...


another piece of me written down....

did anyone notice the change of atmosphere in us mly dancers yesterday evening? did you? did anyone knew what went wrong? did anyone cared???! haiz...

didnt go to school today...didnt feel like going...didnt want to face the school...didnt feel well....didnt have the mood....everything was a "didnt"...haiz....thanx to my mom who was,and is still, a good sport...she was understanding enough to let me off and not come to school...how great was that....well....as all should know by know, we, the malay dancers, failed to meet our goal, proved right to many others that we couldn't make it, felt depressed as the results were announced, cried the hell out of us when we heard the word "bronze". my god...one time, we were all preparing to celebrate, the next, we were all down crying. its such a failure. i feel that i have failed to do my duties, as a chairperson. i failed to accomplish what i was supposed to do. damn. damn. damn.

i know i should not talk about this, but i would like to make this something memorable. The SYF Malay Contemporary Dance Competition. thats my title for the competition. that was what i failed in. anyway, we came at 6.45am. i woke up at 5.30am to get redi for everything. left by 6.20am. when i reached school, i met up with emylia and kamilia. wanted to wait for the rest but felt that we were going to be late. we went up to the hall, met up with the others and had our few last practices..for DA DAY..after practice, we went for our make-up session. i guess the eye make-up was not as expected. it did not look like a mask. but, what the hell right, it was what we had....did our hair and stuffs and got into our costumes...as the lady(about 2/3 yrs older than me) put on the samping for me, she practically poke through the pin into ME! i was like OUW!! OUW!! OUW!! and she went oh..oh..okay....wow...zawani had a huge conflict with mdm salena about the make up thing...gosh...tension in us...wani cried...after that, we went for the last practices...had some great comments and advice from the make-up artists....redo our costumes, had a last prep talk by mdm tay and off we went to Kallang theatre. nervous!!! good thing the girls alarmed about the missing flags. waited for them in the bus and then, we really went off for the competition. found out that the emylia threw the keys onto the "roof" which was supposed to be thrown to mazlin..the looked for mr toh for that...look how clumsy they were. haiyo....thought about the steps on the bus.....here we come...

when we reached there, mdm salena registered us and we took photos....haiz...thought about the steps, reassured the steps...MR TOH CAME!!! together with mr ben tan....wahhhhh....gave us a prep talk...reassured us that we could do it...-tears rolling-...we were all set for the competition...we went to the back of the back stage...sat down in a circle...closed our eyes and focused....its all about the dance...its all about us...its all about the competition...the 1st focus, idayu, nuraidah n mariana cried...wah...gave each other hugs...reassured that it was going to be fine...then, we had another focussing session...but many did not want to do it...i guess coz bedok sth was there...haiz...then, backstage, mdm salena sprinkled glitter on our heads...sth like a gd luck charm? hmm....then, we reassured each other the positions and all....bvss was good...really...they looked as thou they were wearing tubes but actually they werent. bedok sth was kinda off-course BUT i saw my COUSIN dancing!!!! ouhhhhh....gives me goosebumps...she looked as thou she was enjoying it..awww....after that, it was our turn....wow....-dance- i did quite alot of mistakes!! shit...i looked down! shit...i didnt do what i was supposed to! shit...i missed off a step!! shit...shit...shit....i coughed while walking out of the theatre...I HUGGED MDM MARLINA!!! hahar...it was nice....she said that we have a chance in winning silver...we watched the other schools...they were nice!!!!!!!!!! damn good sia...especially ang mo kio...wow...after that, we went outside the theatre...salihah was crying coz she made a huge mistake...i consoled her...hugged her and said it wud be alright....took a pic with my cousin...awww.....some little guy asked whether i was sec 3...my god...cant blieve it...after that, we went back to schoool...gosh...did our duties and then went off to wash our faces and stuffs...e were really slacking...its like a burden has been relieved...u know how stressful it was before syf?! so...we all played a fool...laughed during the dance...for the speech day....but the 2nd and 3rd time, we did it as it was supposed to be....i took care of the group well..was kind of proud of myself...but...its was too good to be true....thought of celebrating but after idayu announced the results, we all broke down...the atmosphere was from happy to shocked to.....depression...after a few mins of breaking down, dayu n weder gave me a hug..saying it was alright....ergh....thnx gals...love you loads for that...don't know how to express my gratitude towards u both...and to the rest as well...happyness, tension, sadness happened all at the same time...with everyone...everyone was down...mrs quek asked us to go home...but we didnt..suddenly everyting turned glooomy...what happned? what really happned??????

i went home...adam took the bus and tried to talk to me..but...ergh....cant..then, me n izza walked home together...gosh....why?! why bronze?!! but...to think again, we werent excellent either...

-some people love to condemn others-


another piece of me written down....

HEYLO........today was ok...not much pressure on me but i'm tired, very tired. must...focus...on...the....BIG....test....AHHHHH...SYF(SYF)TOMORROW!!! a part of me can't wait, while the other, don't want it to happen..argh.....hope i don't have a nervous break down...must not think of it!!! haiz.......wish me LUCK! lots of it....goood onees....please.....arghhh.....see u peeps on friday...-prays- time to sleep! gd nite.


another piece of me written down....

fuck fuck fuckkkkk!!!!!!!!!! pardon my language but today was kinda swingy. i cried today. two times. argh!!!! why d hell did i do tht?! 1st i cried after i didn't manage to do the dance steps and mdm salena was like pressurising me and all that....ergh! why must u guys keep questioning me?!!! i'm already in the verge of crying and in the end, it was the toilet for me....stupid pms. den, salasiyah n idayu climbed down/up respectively. trying to make a fool out of themselves. haiyo...after crying i kinda had more energy for myself, more energy to dance. bloody hell. erghhh....then we experimented with the make up. it was nice! but need more practice. after that me, dayu n weder went for lunch. i was limping to a certain extend, my leg hurts! haiz...went home, waited for sorida's call. after givin the bk, i went home n sleep. gosh! suddenly i remebered about madrasah!! i woke up thinking it was already tmr!!! n i was late...but, think again, i wasnt. i was still in the pace of today, still am. after that, i looked around my hse...sounded as thou i was crying when i talked. shit. asked my mother to massage my leg..den i cry again! bloody hell. fuck larh. cry for nothing. so unreasonable.after that my mom massaged my leg. my dad.......massaged me....like wan to break my leg! i cried when he massaged me! it was so damn painfulll...ergggh...ate dinner and now i'm bloggin....dunno if i can sleep later...arrhhhhhhh....